


The boy who carried the wind

by Raiken



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ballet Dancer Hwang Hyunjin, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Hard of Hearing Hwang Hyunjin, Love Confessions, M/M, Music Producer Seo Changbin, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:34:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raiken/pseuds/Raiken
Summary: “Hyunjin…” Changbin whispered, his heart heavy. He held Hyunjin’s other hand tightly to convey his empathy. If he had been there, he would have beaten up the kid who had done this to his Hyunjin, although he was aware violence didn’t solve anything. Still, he felt so worked up even now, listening to this story that happened four years ago.--or: Hyunjin is a ballet dancer with hearing loss and Changbin, a music producer who can’t live without music, is fascinated by him.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 62
Kudos: 261
Collections: Hyunfest 2020





	The boy who carried the wind

**Author's Note:**

> For Hyunjin Fic Fest. The prompt I picked was: _Hyunjin is a dancer with hearing problems and Changbin is a music producer who is fascinated by Hyunjin because he can't live without music._
> 
> Thanks to my beta Alex.
> 
> This work is a piece of fiction, there may be inaccuracies about hearing loss despite my research. I apologize if that's the case. I also suffer from a disability following a car accident, although not the same one, so I dug into my own experience for inspiration.
> 
> This work is my baby. I spent so long writing it. Please, enjoy. ♡

**“when we first met...**

In the packed auditorium, the English professor began his lesson. The room, deprived of windows, was suffocating, and there prevailed a slight, unpleasant cacophony despite the silence proper to lecture halls; one that had everyone weary at the end.

Sitting among the last rows at the far left of the auditorium, Changbin was absentmindedly playing with a pen. He had casually spread his legs before him and slung his arm around the backrest of the empty seat next to his own. The heavy room temperature was such that he felt like he was being deprived of energy, making any gesture, any thought, impossible.

Thankfully, a droplet of sweat running down his temple tickled him to the point that he lifted his hand to wipe it off. He seized the opportunity to straighten himself and stretch out, before grabbing his water bottle and lazily bringing it to his lips.

At that very moment, someone tapped his arm and asked him in a hushed voice if the empty seat was taken.

Upon seeing the newcomer— a smile so lovely it caught Changbin off-guard, the latter forgot to swallow, resulting in water endlessly filling his mouth.

With puffy cheeks, he shook his head and took his worn backpack to place it under his own seat. The boy mouthed a thank you before elegantly seating himself on the now empty spot, and instantly, a fresh fragrance of almond milk filled the air around them.

By his presence, each of Changbin’s senses awakened. 

First, the sight that had him averting his eyes because staring remained impolite.

Second, the scent that chased away the weird yet characteristic smell of the auditorium— a fermentation of sweat, breath, dirty shoes and snacks.

Third, the warmth of his body, which slowly coated the skin of Changbin’s left bare arm and knee; of his leg that accidentally knocked against Changbin’s.

The boy had legs so long he didn’t know how to fold them beneath the table; at the end, he crossed them, inviting Changbin to follow the curve of his thigh to the side of his butt with discreet eyes.

Finally, Changbin pulled himself together and refocused his attention on the lesson. He typed his notes on his laptop, easily following what the professor was explaining. 

After three years of majoring in music, while having English as his minor, he could filter out everything else in the room in favor of the lesson. He had always conscientiously attended his classes, and took perfect notes that allowed him to ace all his exams, and today wouldn’t be any different, no matter how distracting the beautiful boy next to him was.

(Attractive people were everywhere, he had met many, but none as special as this one. It was the way his eyebrows knitted together while he took his notes on his small, white laptop whose screen was bordered with girly stickers; it was the long blonde hair that was tucked behind his small ear and that curled a bit at the nape of his neck; it was his slight nods, the twitch of his foot near Changbin’s ankle, and the pout of his plump lips that slightly opened to let out flimsy sighs.)

(He was special because if you asked him the reason why, Changbin, for the first time, wouldn’t be able to explain.)

During their ten minutes break, after two hours of lecture, the boy tapped his arm again.

“Can I borrow your notes?” The boy spoke carefully while tilting his head to the side.

His long fingers were still on Changbin’s arm in a pleasant weight.

“Yes, of course.” Changbin angled his laptop screen in such a way to allow his comrade to copy his notes.

“Thank you.” The boy offered him a grateful smile. “I’m Hyunjin. What’s your name?”

“Changbin.”

“Changbin,” the boy, Hyunjin, repeated quietly. “You type very loudly,” he commented, a spark of mischief swimming in his black pools of eyes, before directing his attention to the notes.

For some reason, Changbin knew he was still listening to him.

“I type loudly?” Changbin lazily slumped in his seat and looked at his hands resting on top of his thighs. “I guess I can thank my big biceps for that,” he crowed, flinging his arm behind Hyunjin, on the backrest.

The boy puffed in laughter and cast him an amused glance.

It gave Changbin an ego boost, so he shamelessly observed Hyunjin while he was copying the notes one by one.

His long fingers, with a cut on a knuckle; his wrists decorated with shiny beads; his yellow shirt that was buttoned, save for the last three buttons, revealing a daisy necklace right between his collarbones. He was also wearing light-colored jeans cut at the knees.

He was too covered, no wonder he was sweating; indeed, small pearls of sweat were glimmering across his face.

Changbin also observed how Hyunjin’s face slightly scrunched in discomfort as everyone speaking at the same time created a racket; how his eyes fluttered shut in discomfort; how he kept on copying the notes like nothing happened.

“If you need me to explain something…” Changbin suggested, thinking that maybe Hyunjin’s attitude was stress-related. Notes were essential in order to graduate, no one succeeded with the incomplete supplementations the professors provided.

Besides, he thrived on helping others.

“It’s not that,” Hyunjin replied softly, although his body seemed to be tense. “He just talks too fast, and he mutters a lot…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s hard to keep up,” Changbin agreed as an idea suddenly popped in his mind. He took his laptop back, earning a quizzical look from the other boy. “Can you turn on your Bluetooth? I should have sent you my notes through Airdrop sooner.”

“Oh, right.” Hyunjin looked relieved. “Thank you once again.”

“No problem.”

While Changbin tried to find Hyunjin’s name among the hundreds of students who were using Airdrop too, he felt the boy’s curious gaze slowly wandering along his bare arm down to where his thighs were spread beneath the table. 

Hyunjin was observing him in turn, with his elbow on the table and his face delicately placed in the hollow of his palm.

Feeling his lingering gaze, Changbin’s mouth twisted into a lopsided grin. He clicked on Hyunjin’s name to send him the file, before casually sitting backward in his seat.

“Changbin…” Hyunjin called him after copy-pasting the rest of the notes he needed. He gently pressed himself against the backrest where Changbin’s arm was resting. “Is it okay if I look at your screen for the rest of the lesson?”

“Um, yes?” Changbin wondered why the other boy didn’t simply record the lesson if he couldn’t keep up with the professor; he himself had used a recorder— an old, dusty one from his father, for his two first years until he picked up the pace.

Now, it was his fourth and last year of college, and he typed faster than a legal secretary.

Hyunjin must have noticed his confused look, because he said: “Are you sure? I don’t want to bother you.”

“If it can help you, of course.”

“It does help me… I usually sit in the first row,” Hyunjin began explaining, uncrossing his legs to fold them more comfortably beneath the table, with the tip of his feet against the floor like a ballet dancer. “Because from here, I can’t read the professor’s lips. I have hearing problems.”

Changbin felt the tepid dampness of Hyunjin’s shirt against the skin of his forearm. The air was laden with his scent since the heat of the room must have made him sweat more.

“I understand,” Changbin said, nodding. “You can look whenever you need to.”

At that moment, the professor entered the room, so he carefully lifted his arm, except it brushed against the back of Hyunjin’s head, against his soft blonde hair that tickled his skin. The boy offered him another lovely smile and straightened himself, getting ready for the rest of the lesson.

During the two lasting hours, Hyunjin shared with him a quarter of his tangerine; leaned closer to have a better view of his laptop screen; knocked their knees a few times because the heat was making everything too heavy, too uncomfortable, to the point that the front of Changbin’s baseball cap was drenched with sweat.

Sometimes, he would feel Hyunjin’s warm breath against his arm as he read his notes.

He breathed quietly, Changbin noticed, while a lot of them sounded like buffalos.

He learned that Hyunjin was a dancer with a preference for ballet, that he came to the college every morning with his bicycle, that it was his third year, that he was twenty years old.

It created a story in Changbin’s mind, he imagined Hyunjin on his bicycle with the wind blowing on his long hair; he imagined him dressed in a tutu, a sheer skirt around what he guessed was a lithe body; he wondered if Hyunjin listened to music like he did or if he perceived it more with his body.

He was curious about the other boy, and so, so attracted. He had no idea his body could react to warmth, to scent, and to sight, all of the three at the same time, to that extent.

Beautiful was beautiful, this was something else, something he couldn’t pinpoint.

At the end of the lesson, Hyunjin curled his fingers around his forearm and thanked him again. He stood up, tall and willowy, his complete opposite —he who was short and muscly— and smiled one last time; _it was nice meeting you, see you around,_ before disappearing.

Changbin put Hyunjin in a corner of his mind. Things never lasted in college. There were too many people in a place too big, and these people came and went like the morning breeze. He had been unable to forget, though. It had felt good to be hyper-aware of the boy, to react to him, it had been simply thrilling.

One day, he came to his English lecture late, almost missing the second hour, so he sat in his usual last row and turned on his Bluetooth.

Through Airdrop, he clicked on Hyunjin’s name and sent him a file where he wrote “hi, can I borrow your notes?” He looked for the pretty blonde head among the first rows and found him looking for him as well.

When their eyes met across the auditorium, a smile blossomed on Hyunjin’s lovely face, and Changbin waved at him, the flutter of a thrill forming in his chest.

  
  
  


─────────

  
  
  


One month later, Changbin found himself sitting every day in the first row for his English lectures.

Hyunjin always saved a seat next to him and always shared the fruits he took out of his dark-brown satchel. They became friends through their shared lectures. Three lectures in total; lectures Changbin cherished because Hyunjin was the flower in the field of straw that was his life.

He was beautiful inside and out, and he elevated Changbin’s ego to the sky by giggling at all the silly things he was saying in order to impress the pretty boy.

Now, Changbin knew he was a fun person, which usually generated a touch of arrogance in his personality, but with Hyunjin? He somewhat felt shy, his cheeks flushed as his thoughts were racing through his mind in panic.

“I can give you a ride there,” Hyunjin said, one hand in his pocket while Changbin had his two deep in his own pockets. “My bike isn’t far.”

They were following a path made of cobblestones that led to where many students were waiting at the bus stations. 

It was a sunny day accompanied by a soft breeze that announced autumn was near. After their lecture, they had both contentedly hummed when they felt the wind blowing through their hair, cooling down the sweat nestled on their necks.

“Are you sure you have enough time for that?” Changbin asked while he looked at the younger boy; a pout decorated his face as well as furrowed eyebrows. He looked so harmless, despite showing his dissatisfaction. “What? Why are you sulking?”

“Because I want to give you a ride to your next class. It’s on my way, come on.”

“Your way to…?” 

“Aw, you’re so curious,” Hyunjin remarked, his smile showing his two cute front teeth. “I’m going home right now. And then I have ballet.”

“Oh, I guess you have time for me after all,” Changbin said timidly.

They were friends, so Hyunjin’s offer made sense, but the idea of sitting behind the younger boy on the bicycle and holding him for leverage, being closer than he had ever been, made him nervous— a good nervous, though, the kind that excited him, that brought him joy.

“I do,” Hyunjin chirped, and then, softer, slower: “also, I want to know where you’re spending your time.”

Changbin felt the tip of his ears burn, he hoped his cheeks were left untouched by his pleasant fluster.

“Why?”

“Because you know where I’m spending mine,” Hyunjin casually explained, although his eyes sparkled with mischief again.

They reached the parking facility for bicycles and Hyunjin put his satchel in the wicker basket attached to the handlebars of his pale blue city bicycle. 

It was his mother’s, she went to college with it as well when she was young. Changbin found the story cute; he too used his father’s old stuff, like his backpack that had lived through time.

He watched the younger boy unlock the bicycle to bring it right in front of him, and then he sat on the saddle with his butt popping out and his long limbs on display.

In this position, his clothes hugged his body more, highlighting his lithe frame, the muscle of his back as well as the curves of his butt and thighs. Changbin stared for a moment, before pulling himself together once again to look at Hyunjin’s face.

Of course, the younger boy’s mouth was curled in a knowing grin, which obviously embarrassed Changbin as he just got caught.

“So? Get on.” Hyunjin tilted his head to the side, inviting and pretty.

Changbin flung his leg to sit on the pannier rack and propped his feet on the footrest, resulting in the bicycle sinking under his added weight.

“Are you sure that it’s safe?” He wasn’t afraid to fall, but he didn’t want Hyunjin to fall and hurt himself. The bicycle was old, perhaps could break easily, and Hyunjin was a lightweight, he too could break easily.

“Why? You don’t trust me?” Hyunjin shot him a quizzical look over his shoulder. “I assure you I can carry your weight.”

“I know you’re a dancer… But—”

“But?”

“You’re like a flower, while I’m an oak tree or something,” Changbin explained with honesty. “Maybe I should ride the bike.”

Hyunjin let out a chuckle, his eyes creased in amusement.

“What?” Changbin averted his eyes, flustered because Hyunjin found his metaphor funny, which should have offended him, except his giggles always warmed Changbin’s heart.

(Truth to be told, he had to write a song targeted to children for his Songwriting course, so he used Hyunjin as a muse.)

(The younger boy was new, nothing like his friends who were more similar to him. He was very different, his opposite; lean limbs, soft features, gentle voice where Changbin was thick, muscly, with dark, intimidating eyes and a voice that hit as strong as a punch in the wall.)

(Hyunjin was a pacifist too, he looked like he was made of crystal, while Changbin liked confrontation because no one could bring him down.)

(He imagined his song to be the story of a flower too delicate even a slight gust of wind destroyed it. Only the oak tree was able to protect her, liking how she sang every day despite being so weak, so lonely, and when the flower asked the oak tree why he didn’t give up on her when all the other flowers abandoned her, the oak tree responded with: “little flower, I’ve sheltered bees, bugs and birds, squirrels, snakes and sleeping humans. All came to me, thanked me, and left me alone with the time that always felt too long. I was ready to perish until you bloomed between my roots, cheerful and pretty, and then I wished I could give you a piece of my bark to protect you, so you would keep singing and, at the same time, chase my distress away.”)

“I’m a flower,” Hyunjin softly replied, happy about the compliment. “Thank you.”

“I mean… You can’t be anything else…” Changbin let out too late, blushing under Hyunjin’s mischievous gaze.

“Well, Mister tiny oak tree, I invite you to hold me because we are about to go.”

“Like this?” Changbin loosely wrapped one arm around the younger boy’s waist while he gripped the pannier rack under his butt, that way, he had leverage on both ends.

“Tighter.” Hyunjin tapped his forearm to indicate that he had to hold him better. “I ride fast, you’ll see.”

He began pedaling at a slow pace at first, riding along the road, then sped up when they reached an emptier area. Changbin had no other choice than to secure both of his arms around Hyunjin’s small waist, resulting in his chest being pressed against the younger boy’s back.

It was weird to feel his body, his warmth contrasting with the wind blowing on them; his defined muscles rolling against sometimes his forehead, sometimes his cheek; his flat belly that was pressed against the inside of his arms.

Hyunjin was feeling Changbin too. He was feeling his warm chest against his back, his strong arms around his middle and even his wounded knees often rubbing against the underside of his thighs.

Hyunjin was cuddly with people he liked, his affection for his friends translated through his touches, his hugs, yet it was too early to touch Changbin like that, despite how much he already liked him.

It had only been a month, but they had chatted a lot, about homework at first, and about everything else after.

So, Changbin sitting behind him, holding him, reinforced the idea that he adored and trusted the older boy.

At some point, Hyunjin took a bend tightly, and Changbin groaned, hiding his face between the younger boy’s shoulder blades.

Hyunjin giggled, then amusedly shouted:

“Is everything alright?”

“A warning would be welcome next time,” Changbin complained without malice. He was feeling the extent of Hyunjin’s strength, but it didn’t mean sudden maneuvers wouldn’t take him by surprise.

“Sorry,” the younger boy enunciated joyfully.

Changbin could hear his radiant smile in his voice, which instinctively made him smile as well.

When they arrived in front of the building where Changbin attended most of his courses, Hyunjin slowed down until he stopped near the entrance and put his foot flat on the ground to support the bicycle. Changbin safely went down, his legs wobbling after such an intense ride.

“Music majors are so lucky to learn in a temple,” Hyunjin exclaimed as his shiny eyes roamed over the facade of the Music faculty whose characteristic was the abundance of ornamentation.

“It looks like a temple, but it’s not one. We don’t have air-con either.”

“Is the inside as unique as the outside?”

“Kind of,” Changbin replied, observing Hyunjin’s impressed face. “Do you want to come in? I can show you around.” He knew the younger boy liked aesthetic things that stood out from everyday life, and he would gladly take him anywhere he wanted.

“I’d love to, but not today, I have to go. Sorry…” Hyunjin’s lips knotted into a cute pout. “Next time?”

“Next time,” Changbin repeated as he gave him a smile.

Hyunjin mirrored him, then leaned down, catching him unprepared, to gently kiss his cheek.

The soft push of his cold lips had Changbin’s mouth falling agape; his stomach churned weirdly, his fingers gripped the strap of his backpack tightly and his heart skipped a beat.

“See you soon,” Hyunjin told him in a hushed tone, before leaving with another mischievous smile.

Changbin stood there until the younger boy disappeared from his field of vision.

Relaxing, he casually put his hands in his pockets and spun on his heels to walk towards the benches where his friends usually were waiting before the start of the course.

They were looking at him in a mix of curiosity and amusement, likely having witnessed everything, from their arrival, to the kiss, to Changbin’s malfunction.

“Who was that?” His friend, Jisung, asked him with a smirk.

“I think I’m in love,” Changbin simply blurted out.

  
  
  


─────────

  
  
  


Changbin zipped up his hoodie when he stepped outside. As the weather had cooled off these past few weeks, the sky was getting more and more cloudy and the wind blew harder to the point Changbin started walking with his hood pulled over his head.

He sat on the edge of a low, decorative wall made of stone, near the parking facility for bicycles, to wait for Hyunjin's arrival. He dug his hands in his pockets to protect them from the cold weather.

It was the middle of the afternoon, and since they both had a hole in their schedules every Tuesday, they decided to spend it together in one of the innumerable workrooms the Music faculty provided for its students.

Hyunjin arrived soon after, slowly stopping in front of him with his hair disheveled by the wind despite his ponytail.

Changbin let out a chuckle at the sight, reaching to gently tame down his wild strands of blonde hair; the younger boy’s eyes fluttered shut at the gentle touch, and when Changbin finished tucking his strands behind his little ears, he mouthed a silent thank you.

Changbin noticed the tension emanating from his friend’s body with the way his shoulders were taut and his rosy lips were slightly curled down.

“Are you alright?”

Hyunjin shrugged as he went down his bicycle.

“It’s just that the wind is too strong nowadays. I’m always scared of losing my hearing aid, even when I don’t ride fast. And the feeling of the wind rubbing against it is very unpleasant,” he explained while sticking his bicycle between the metal bars of the circle rack next to other bicycles.

“Oh, sorry to hear that…” Changbin sincerely replied. “What if you used a beanie?”

“Beanies press on my ears too much, and I’m always scared of not being able to hear anything with one.” Hyunjin hooked the strap of his satchel around his shoulder and approached with a more relaxed smile, likely relieved to be on dry land after an anxious ride. He wound his arms around Changbin’s neck to hug him. “But don’t worry about me, okay? I’m happy to see you.”

Changbin nuzzled the side of his neck, hugging him tightly against his chest the way he knew the younger boy always felt comforted.

“I’m happy to see you too.”

They went inside after Hyunjin padlocked his bicycle to the railing. They stopped at the vending machine because Hyunjin wanted to drink milk, then went upstairs to the third floor in the workroom Changbin booked each Tuesday.

There, Hyunjin flopped on one of the two old chairs and immediately scooted closer to Changbin.

It was a small room, enough for four people at most, with a rectangular table made of wood and two more chairs piled in a corner. A dusty green curtain also framed the narrow window that let the natural light inside.

“What song are you playing today?” Hyunjin asked, popping the straw of his milk box in his mouth while curiously looking at him.

“It’s a song I wrote but that Jisung sang. It was part of an exchange for our Songwriting class,” Changbin explained while taking off his hoodie. He then typed on his keyboard to get the song ready, unplugged his headphones from his laptop, and angled the screen that displayed an image of Jisung accompanied by his guitar. “It’s a story for kids. It’s called the flower and the oak tree.”

Hyunjin nodded, his cheeks squishing from the content smile that blossomed on his face. Changbin’s stuff always excited him, be it songs, texts, meals, shopping cart, anecdotes, etc. And since the older boy always had things to show or talk about, it always satisfied his curiosity.

“Okay. Tell me when you’re starting it,” Hyunjin said as he slipped off his clean, white sneakers to prop them on the chair in order to hug his legs. He placed his chin atop his knees and closed his eyes.

He was concentrating.

“I’m playing it now.”

Changbin pushed on the space bar of his keyboard and let himself fall backward on his chair. His eyes didn’t leave Hyunjin’s face, enamored or fascinated, or both at the same time. The younger boy was attentively listening to the acoustic ballad with his mouth slightly pouting and with his eyebrows furrowing every now and then. He began smiling at the happy part of the song; the part about the oak tree choosing to protect the flower.

When the song ended, Hyunjin fluttered his eyes open, smiley.

“It’s a good song for kids,” he told him. “Jisung sounds young too, so it fits the theme and the audience even more.”

In the course of their friendship, Changbin had nervously introduced Hyunjin to his friends; nervously because they were aware of his feelings for the ballet dancer and thereby, he was afraid they would tease them both too much about a possible love story. But none of his apprehension had taken shape. Instead, they included the dancer, especially Jisung who got the best reactions to his antics in the person of Hyunjin.

“I agree, Jisung fits the theme a lot.”

“That aside, I like the story too. Am I the flower?” Hyunjin asked innocently, bringing his legs down and hooking one around Changbin’s thigh. “Did I inspire you?”

“You did,” Changbin answered truthfully.

The nature of their bond was no secret, although it was still currently blooming, like tiny petals slowly getting out of their burgeon.

He took out his notebook from his backpack and opened it to the page where two stick figures were drawn: one was longer while the other was larger.

“I compared us, came up with the flower and the tree because we are different like that. And from there, I wrote the song. ‘If you can help someone who needs help, then don’t be afraid to do it’, basically was the idea,” he casually explained.

“Aww,” Hyunjin cooed, tightening his leg around the older boy’s thigh. “Helping others, what a nice life lesson.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Changbin sulked, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head away. He was simply teasing Hyunjin, so he would stop looking fondly at him and making him feel all kinds of things.

“I’m not!” Hyunjin immediately protested, reaching to tug at his arm. He was pouting, anxious at the idea that he could have accidentally offended the older boy. “It’s a nice life lesson for children, I mean it!”

He was so cute, so animated, so genuine in his reactions.

Changbin seized his still tugging hand to hold it and promptly offered him an amused smile, naturally resulting in the younger boy to gasp in offense and pout once more.

“You’re playing with me,” Hyunjin pointed out.

“It would be the first time,” Changbin said while stroking the back of Hyunjin’s slender hand with his thumb.

Hyunjin had always played with him, innocently seducing him with his beautiful yet kittenish eyes; his chaste kisses on the cheek; his shy touches on Changbin’s thighs or on his abundant dark blue hair, especially when they were sitting in the auditorium, drained from the day and seeking comfort in touching each other. His attentions always had Changbin quiet and flustered for long seconds, so it was time to turn the tables, and Changbin’s way was through affectionate teasing.

“Fair enough.” Hyunjin’s pout turned into a toothy smile as his anxiety had vanished.

He sat back in his chair, resulting in their hands falling apart, something he instantly regretted, but Changbin soon wrapped his hand around Hyunjin’s bare knee, stroking the tip of his bone instead. The younger boy was wearing light blue jeans with a hole at the knee parts. His skin was hairless and smooth and cold, and it felt strange to touch that part of his body. It felt intimate.

“Would you listen to my other songs too? I’d like your opinion on the ones I still have doubts about,” he suggested, mostly to divert his attention from Hyunjin’s long leg curled around his thigh.

“I’d love to.”

They usually spent their two hours of freedom eating snacks and chatting while music played quietly in the background. Sometimes Changbin would play his songs too, but only the ones he was confident about because he couldn’t risk disappointing Hyunjin with poorly executed tracks.

Today, Changbin felt more confident, and to be completely honest, he liked observing the younger boy listening to music with his eyes shut.

It was like he devoted his time and his soul to Changbin, and the latter loved that because it made him fall for the younger boy even more. He always looked so vulnerable whenever he attentively listened to music; all his other senses were momentarily set aside in favor of his hearing.

“I’m going to play it now,” Changbin warned the younger boy whose expression, with his eyes shut and his lips slightly parted, indicated that he was focusing on the sound.

They spent the rest of their time like that, with Hyunjin giving his opinions— always positive, always motivating, and with Changbin caressing the skin of his knee, warming it under his palm. Hyunjin’s leg shuddered from time to time around his thigh, probably from cold or from the older boy’s lovesome touch over his knee.

Sometimes, Changbin’s fingers strayed under the fabric of his jeans to caress his thigh, unable to fight against his temptation, and Hyunjin would stop breathing for a few seconds.

When it was time for Hyunjin to go to one of his English lectures, Changbin accompanied him outside while holding his satchel for him. He placed it in the wicker basket decorated with flowers, dug his hands in his pockets, and stepped away from Hyunjin's path.

The younger was nervous at the idea of riding again because of the strong wing.

“You’ll be fine,” Changbin told him as he bumped his knee against Hyunjin’s thigh.

“I know… I have no choice, anyway.” The younger boy let out a frustrated sigh, his fingers tight around the handlebars.

Changbin took out one hand to grip Hyunjin’s and encouragingly squeeze it.

“You’ve done it many times before. Trust yourself.”

Hyunjin nodded, flinging his leg over his bicycle, but not sitting.

“What is it?” Changbin asked, confused. He squeezed his hand again. “Hyunjinnie?”

“Would you come to see me dance, someday?” The younger looked at him with his shy eyes that shone like black marbles.

“Yes please.” Changbin smiled. “Can’t wait to see you in a ballerina skirt,” he teased him to make him smile as well.

Although he was joking, he still wanted to see Hyunjin in stockings and a sheer skirt. The ballet dancer already looked like a doll, all pretty and svelte, like the pocket dolls swirling in music boxes.

His teasing had the expected effect, as Hyunjin was now smiling.

“Let’s find a day then,” Hyunjin jovially said, finally sitting on the saddle and propping one foot on a pedal.

“I’m sure I can make time for you,” Changbin flirted as he squeezed the younger boy’s hand one last time, before putting his hand back in the pocket of his hoodie. “Text me when you’re in class.”

“I will.”

Hyunjin leaned down to softly kiss his cheek and left on his bicycle, with his little ponytail flying through the wind.

  
  
  


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The dance academy stood behind the biggest train station of Seoul. A modest building by the side of a parking lot where, at the center, water sprung from a flat fountain. Changbin parked his father’s old pickup car there, then looked at his reflection in the water to fix his hair beneath his baseball cap. 

He went inside and followed the directions Hyunjin had previously texted him. _Third floor, turn on the left, white door behind which there is a room where you can see me through the window pane._

When he stepped inside the room, he was met with the muffled sound of footsteps against the wooden floor as well as the firm instructions of a dance teacher.

Changbin put his backpack next to a chair, then walked towards the large windowpane, layered with a mirror on the other side, to have a better and closer view of the dancers.

A piano-driven song was playing as the dancers were rehearsing their choreography.

Naturally, his eyes locked on the beautiful boy with long blonde hair and graceful legs. He was wearing black dance shoes, short black sports shorts, a black tank top, and a black baseball cap. The opposite of his usual elegant buttoned shirts and ironed pants. Yet still the same, because this new version of Hyunjin, passionate, strong, with keen, cold eyes instead of mischievous or shy ones, remained enchanting. 

He danced like a swan, sometimes aggressive, sometimes slow and elegant, all the time seductive and expressive. Changbin didn’t recognize the song that played in the practice room, but from the emotions Hyunjin conveyed through his dancing, he bet it was about the violence of heartbreak.

Changbin placed his forehead against the glass and observed the younger boy, his boy, fascinated.

It wasn’t pure ballet, it looked more like jazz dance, but Hyunjin still danced like it was ballet, with long limbs that curled and uncurled, fast and then slow; with swirls and acrobatics; with his face high and mighty typical of ballet dancers— from what Changbin saw in movies, yet with his seductive eyes looking at his reflection in the mirror.

And then, while swirling, he lost his balance and fell off tempo. His face contorted in frustration, bringing his hand to his left ear, the one that couldn’t hear anymore, to massage it.

A thought crossed Changbin’s mind.

Was Hyunjin dancing without his hearing aid?

The realization hit him, as he watched Hyunjin get back on his feet to dance again. The younger boy looked even more focused now, more intimidating, ready to attack. An unforgiving look gleamed in his black eyes, he pursed his lips in anger, but his moves remained calculated, elegant, and sensual, like before.

It was beyond passion, it was devotion.

Hyunjin was a beast in the shape of a beautiful, dainty flower.

Changbin slowly walked backward, without taking his eyes off Hyunjin, to take the chair to the windowpane and sit on it with his feet propped against the windowsill.

The more he learned about the beautiful dancer, the more his heart thrummed like it wanted to get out of his chest, because all the small things he learned every day only made his heart swell until it burst.

He was in love, he was hooked, and fascinated, and aroused. His body wanted to commit to what his heart longed for, to who he longed for.

He watched Hyunjin for an hour— he had come as soon as his class ended, shamelessly letting his eyes wander on the dancer’s small pert butt and toned legs; on his thighs; on the space between them. Every part of him was pretty, it only increased his yearning.

When dance practice ended, Hyunjin let himself fall against the wall, wet everywhere, especially his hair, and closed his eyes while he was regaining his breath. His legs were bent and parted, with his shorts ridden down, so Changbin had a good view of his inner thighs along with the delectable giggle of the muscles there.

Oh, he wanted Hyunjin, and he hoped Hyunjin wanted him as much too.

When the dance teacher dismissed the dancers, Hyunjin disappeared behind a white door.

Changbin played on his phone in the meantime. Fifteen minutes later, dancers now in their daily outfits flooded the room. Hyunjin came last, a smile blooming on his face as his eyes met Changbin’s.

“You came!” He chirped, coming closer, still a bit out of breath.

His hair was half-dried, and the top of his sweater had the impregnation of the water droplets that likely ran down from his hair. He smelled like soap and like cold too, if that made sense. So, Changbin took his hand and drew him towards his lap where he landed with an almost inaudible squeak.

“And I haven’t regretted a second of it,” Changbin boldly said as he held the younger boy by the waist.

“Really?” Hyunjin laced his arms around his neck into a loose hug. “Did you watch everything?”

“Just the last hour.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin breathed quietly, upon realization. “You saw me lose my balance.”

“You weren’t been the only one,” Changbin quipped, although he knew Hyunjin, driven by his diligence and strictness, was the kind to not forgive any mistake.

“I know, but… That’s on them,” the dancer carefully spoke, his eyes shining beneath the dim light of the room. “You know what I mean, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Changbin nodded. 

He related to Hyunjin as he was an artist as well, with things to prove to himself first, and others next. Still, he was curious about the boy on his lap, about his backstory, his disability, his perhaps career as a dancer, but he would stay patient and wait for Hyunjin to open up on his own.

At his answer, Hyunjin relaxed in his arms.

“Shall we start our date, then?”

“It’s a date?” Changbin smirked. “I wasn’t aware.”

“Well, now that you are aware,” the dancer began in an impish tone, tilting his head to the side. “There is no backing out.”

And then, he stood up and pulled an amused Changbin behind him.

In the parking lot, they put Hyunjin’s bicycle in the cargo bed of the pickup car. Then, they looked for a cheap restaurant near the theater where they would later go.

Inside of the animated restaurant, they sat facing each other and quickly ordered their menu. Hyunjin extended his crossed ankles between Changbin’s feet who couldn’t help but rub their calves together. The friction set alight their longing for each other, as there was nothing better than to feel the other and to share their affection through small touches.

They chatted while eating. Hyunjin talked about the ballet show that would take place in a few months. He wanted Changbin to come, which warmed the latter’s heart, because it meant Hyunjin saw him in his future. 

“I don’t know,” Changbin still joked, a slight smirk pulling the corner of his mouth. “I have my whole life planned already, not sure if there’s room for your show.”

Hyunjin pouted even if he knew he was only being teased.

“I made room for you in mine,” he said in a hushed tone. Then, he looked away in deep thoughts, his eyebrows softly knitting together. “But maybe I should ask this guy who sits next to me when you’re absent…”

Prickled in his ego, Changbin possessively caged Hyunjin’s ankles between his legs. 

“Who?” His mind was racing, counting all the men he had seen around the younger boy, evaluating the nature and the value of their threat.

“No one,” Hyunjin answered with a grin, mischief swimming in the black pools of his eyes. He stuffed a piece of meat into his cheek and munched happily, satisfied with the older boy’s jealousy.

It was Changbin’s turn to sulk.

“I want to be the only one for you,” he blurted out as he angrily put his fork in a vegetable; its juice splashed the white t-shirt he was wearing. “Shit.”

Hyunjin giggled and gave him a tissue to apply against the greasy stain.

“You are the only one,” he said while watching Changbin zip up his hoodie with fond eyes. “So, will you come to my show?”

“Of course! I like watching you dance. I’m curious to see more.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s your art…” Changbin reached across the table to hold his hand; the younger boy slightly gasped at that, but intertwined their fingers. “You learn a lot about someone by seeing them be passionate about something.”

“True… What did you learn about me?” Hyunjin’s cheek tinted in a soft pink, eyes intense.

“That I’ve never met anyone more dedicated and conscientious than you.”

“Thank you,” he breathed as a shy smile bloomed on his face.

“Also… I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than you either,” Changbin told him, averting his eyes from the sudden timidity his confession brought.

Hyunjin’s feet shifted between his legs, caging one between his calves to squeeze it affectionately.

“Thank you. I love hearing compliments from you.”

Changbin also thought he had never met anyone looking at him with eyes so fond, so full of love before; had never met anyone who touched him with so much affection, so much need, because Hyunjin always needed to touch, to feel, to express his feelings through his gestures.

However, while Hyunjin’s feelings and needs were no secret to him, there was something that still had him left in the dark. He knew curiosity killed the cat, but he couldn’t help it; curiosity had already killed his patience. He wanted to know everything about the younger boy, to learn more about him.

“Hyunjinnie… There’s something I wanted to ask,” he let out after he finished his plate. Their meal had given him the time to ponder over the question that burned the tip of his tongue.

“Yes?” Hyunjin was propped on his elbows, sucking on the straw of his fruity drink with his hands cupping his face.

“Were you dancing without your hearing aid?”

The younger boy lifted his face at the question, lips parted.

“How did you notice?”

“When you lost your balance, you massaged your ear harder than usual. And I know you only massage it gently, because you don’t want to damage your hearing aid,” Changbin casually explained, reading all the emotions passing through his lovely face: frustration, surprise, affection, surprise again. “I think it’s impressive.”

“Why? Because I’m half deaf? So I’m expected to be bad at dancing?” Hyunjin quietly retorted, on the defensive.

His eyes turned cold for a second, but Changbin knew it wasn’t directed at him. It was more of a legitimate reaction against this invisible entity named common preconception.

“I’m sorry if I said something out of place.” The older boy said, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to find the right words in order to express himself.

“No, don’t apologize. You didn’t say anything wrong,” Hyunjin told him while reaching across the table. He opened his palm, where Changbin put his hand and intertwined their fingers again. “I always take off my hearing aid before dancing because I’ve fought my loss of balance due to my disability. So when I do lose balance, I’m reminded of all my past struggles. It’s like, it triggers me to work even harder.”

“I understand.”

“I’m sorry that I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that,” he let out in a small voice, his eyes full of sadness. The last thing he wanted was to be hostile towards the older boy whom he liked a lot and who liked him a lot in turn. It was only natural to have questions, he had many for Changbin too. “Please, don’t think less of me…”

“Hey, I’d never think less of you,” Changbin firmly reassured him. “I’m happy that you’re telling me this.”

“And I’d gladly tell you more. It’s just that I never talk about it because… I don’t deem it relevant. It’s part of me, I accepted it. But it still frustrates me, makes me break down sometimes.” Hyunjin looked away, lost in his thoughts. His rosy mouth jutted into a pensive pout. Changbin was gently caressing his knuckles, attentively listening to his story. “I depend on my hearing aid and I wish I didn't.”

He let his mouth open, about to say more, but nothing could come out. It was their date, he didn’t want to make it about his disability. He wanted to have fun, to hold Changbin’s hand, and to hug him. He liked the older boy’s hugs because they always made him feel safe and loved. Besides, he wanted to kiss him for the first time.

“Anyways, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged, absentmindedly playing with Changbin’s fingers who was paying close attention to what he was trying to explain. It warmed his heart, even if it was a trivial thing.

“You don’t depend on it when you’re dancing,” the older boy pointed out.

“You’re right about that.”

Hyunjin smiled, and Changbin smiled too.

They paid the bill and walked to the theater while holding hands. The sky was pitch black, despite the twinkling of stars, with a cold wind that had them stopping in the middle of the street to hug each other for warmth. 

Hyunjin mischievously tucked his hands under Changbin’s hoodie and t-shirt, resulting in the older boy flinching away with a curse.

Hyunjin was giggling in happiness.

In the theater, they bought sweet popcorn and picked a western psychological thriller. Changbin’s pick, a tactical one, just to comfort Hyunjin for when he would be too scared to watch a scene.

The room was full, but it didn’t prevent them from holding hands on the armrest separating them. Hyunjin even flung his long leg over Changbin’s thigh; the latter wondered if he wasn’t sitting uncomfortably.

“Doesn’t your leg hurt?” He worriedly asked the dancer who was already starting on the popcorn. “I know you’re flexible, but—”

“I am flexible,” Hyunjin simply affirmed with an innocent grin. “You’ll find out soon _how_ flexible I can be.”

Upon hearing his answer, steamy images flooded Changbin’s mind, ones of Hyunjin bent over the table of his kitchen or of his legs parted on each side of Changbin’s strong shoulders while they were having sex in the car.

His thighs twitched at the sexual thoughts. It was suddenly too hot, so he took off his hoodie in order to breathe better.

Hyunjin chuckled beside him.

“It’s not funny,” Changbin said in a low voice, afraid to be heard by others. “We are in public.”

“I am well aware of that, but it’s not my problem,” the younger boy hummed with a sweet smile.

Changbin mirrored his smile, curbing his boundless desire of kissing him. He was enjoying their moment so much that he wanted to commit to his feelings and seal their relationship already, and then he would eagerly consume everything his heart and his body longed for.

When the movie started, they had already eaten all the popcorn.

Hyunjin intimately intertwined their fingers and squeezed his hand for comfort whenever an ominous scene unfolded. 

At some point, Changbin wasn’t paying attention to the movie. Instead, he nuzzled the top of Hyunjin’s head where the soft smell of his shampoo tickled his nose.

Hyunjin slowly rubbed his cheek against his shoulder, naturally forgetting about the movie as well. And as the temperature grew hotter, the result of their attraction for each other, he clasped another graceful leg over the older boy’s thigh. He gently ran his nose along Changbin’s neck to his jaw, while the latter lowered his face and bumped against his nose.

They both quietly chuckled, before Hyunjin reached to gently cup his face and bring his mouth closer. Changbin’s unoccupied hand gripped his knee, then moved higher over his thigh to grip the muscle there.

Finally, their mouths met for a chaste but lingering kiss that had them both forgetting about everything around.

Hyunjin melted against him, warm and tender, his mouth the perfect wet and the perfect soft. Changbin felt light and heavy at the same time; light, because he believed kissing Hyunjin was the epitome of happiness; heavy because his body craved for more.

When they parted, Hyunjin pecked him again, then contentedly laid his head on his shoulder.

After the movie, they made a detour to walk along the river. It was late and dark, and they were alone, hidden from the traffic by the trees that ran the length of the roads.

Changbin took Hyunjin in his arms and tiptoed to kiss him. Hyunjin mewled against his lips, his arms tight around his neck. The wind blew harder, so Hyunjin pulled their hoods over their heads— for their health, but also because of his hearing aid, and they kissed again with Changbin easily hauling him up and swirling to make him smile during the kiss.

“Am I that light or are you especially strong?” Hyunjin playfully said while affectionately rubbing their noses together.

“Both.” Changbin smirked, sliding his forearm under his small butt to haul him up higher. “See?”

“You’re just using an excuse to touch me below the waist.”

“Maybe.”

Hyunjin snorted.

They kept kissing until it was too cold and their mouths, as well as fingers, were too numb.

Changbin turned on the heating system in the car and drove Hyunjin home, with a hand around the latter’s thigh. He helped him get his bicycle down, and kissed him over it, before Hyunjin regretfully disappeared behind the door of the building where his family lived.

  
  
  


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After their class, students scattered in the corridors for their lunch break in their usual tumult. Changbin packed his backpack last and stopped at his locker to collect his English textbooks. Today, he would be spending his afternoon at Hyunjin’s place for group work. They had divided tasks with two other people, but had decided to do their parts together.

As the hall was emptying out, he stopped at the fountain to drink some water. He bent down to reach the jet, sticking his tongue out to gather water in his mouth. He fluttered his eyes shut for a few seconds, only surrounded by the sound of the running water mixed with his breathing.

Gently, something warm and wet touched his tongue. It slipped in his mouth as he surprisingly opened his eyes, still bent over the fountain.

With his eyes sparkling mischief, Hyunjin smiled against his mouth, which had Changbin instantly relaxing.

While the water wetted their cheeks, the younger boy took his chin between two delicate fingers and angled his face to kiss him better. Changbin closed his eyes again to appreciate the kiss, the touch, and the sweet smell of Hyunjin’s skin.

They straightened up at the same time, mouths still joined in an eager kiss, and Changbin carefully pushed Hyunjin against the wall to deepen their kiss. The latter laced his arms around his neck and melted in his embrace once again.

“Hi baby,” Changbin said, his face contorted in bliss.

“Hi baby,” Hyunjin repeated with a satisfied smile. “Are you hungry?”

“Depends. Hungry for what?” Changbin’s lips pulled into a lopsided grin.

“Is it the place to be hungry for something other than food at school?”

“I know people who had sex in classrooms.”

Hyunjin gasped and his minty breath ghosted over Changbin’s face.

“Do you want to have sex here?”

“I’d do everything you want,” Changbin groaned as he nuzzled Hyunjin’s neck to take in his scent. “Here, elsewhere, anywhere you want.”

They had been dating for a month now, sharing kisses and touching over their clothes, but nothing more since they hadn't had the opportunity given they both still lived with their parents.

Changbin was looking forward to doing more, to kissing Hyunjin all over his body and to coming inside him. He was a healthy twenty-one-year-old boy, sex occupied his mind whenever he thought about his lover.

“In bed would be great,” Hyunjin slowly whispered against his lips.

“That’s good to know because my bed misses you.”

Hyunjin snorted, discharging droplets of saliva on Changbin’s face.

“Sorry,” he apologized, although he was amused by the dejected grimace the older boy was making.

He helped clean Changbin’s face with the fountain water, then held his hand to lead him to the noisy canteen. There, they bought their lunch and ate with their friends until it was time to leave.

They went outside to get Hyunjin’s bicycle. The weather was cold and windy, the sky grey, full of ominous clouds that had them wondering if a storm was coming.

“I can drive if you want,” Changbin suggested as he noticed the tension in Hyunjin’s body.

He looked stressed, likely from the fact that he still wasn’t comfortable riding in such unpleasant and unpredictable weather.

“I can do it,” Hyunjin simply answered, putting his satchel in the wicker basket.

“I know you’re capable of doing it… But if you’re not feeling it today, I can drive your bike.”

Hyunjin looked at him, uncertainty twisting the soft features of his face; not because he didn’t trust Changbin, but because he didn’t want to give in to his anxiety. It wasn’t his first time riding in strong winds, so why was he so nervous, so afraid to fall or hit a car, or someone? It had never happened before, so why would it happen now?

Above all, he hated being riddled with doubts; he had to prove to himself that he could do it in the end, like he had always done before.

“It’s fine, I can do it,” he repeated, sitting on the saddle.

Changbin understood and climbed behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

They rode for ten minutes, leaving the university until the bicycle wobbled beneath them because of the gusts of wind.

Hyunjin slowly stopped alongside an empty sidewalk, tense.

“Do you want me to take over?” Changbin casually asked. He had felt the constriction of the dancer’s belly as well as the tautness of his back while holding him, but there was nothing he could do, not until Hyunjin asked for his help.

“Yes,” was all Hyunjin said before trading his seat.

Changbin hooked the straps of his backpack over the handlebars and lowered the saddle a bit to fit his height. Behind him, Hyunjin tightly curled his arms around his middle and put his chin over his shoulder. He was muffled in his coat, sighing contentedly at the warmth Changbin’s body was providing him.

“Ready?”

Hyunjin positively hummed near his ear, then murmured a soft _thank you_ that warmed his heart.

So, Changbin confidently pedaled for almost twenty minutes across Seoul, following his lover’s instructions to reach his home.

They left the bicycle in his parent’s garage and climbed the stairs to the third floor where Hyunjin opened the door to his apartment.

Inside, they took off their coats and sneakers, appreciating the cozy warmth after a long ride in the cold.

“Do you want to drink something? Coffee?” Hyunjin cheerfully offered, feeling better now that he was home, comfortable, and safe.

“Yeah.” Changbin followed Hyunjin in the kitchen.

It was his second time here, in this modern and neat flat, and like the first time, his parents weren’t home.

(The first time, they were supposed to study for an English test but ended up making out on Hyunjin’s bed until they heard the front door open. They fixed their crumpled clothes and tamed their tousled hair, before getting out of the bedroom to greet his parents.)

(Hyunjin’s parents were calm and kind people who already knew about Changbin since their son always mentioned him in their conversations. It made Changbin blush, but at the same time, it made his chest puff with pride because he realized the younger boy really thought highly of him.)

With their cups of coffee in hand, they went into Hyunjin’s small, tidy bedroom to start working on their group project.

Changbin wondered if it was a good idea because he couldn’t help his mind wandering into dangerous territory.

He was sitting on a chair next to Hyunjin, who had naturally wrapped one of his long legs around his thigh, and he felt like he was his fifteen-year-old self again, unable to focus on his work because of the pretty person next to him. So, he looked over to Hyunjin’s laptop screen to see if he was making any progress and to remind himself that he too had to make progress.

He noticed that they worked differently: Hyunjin was diligent and needed silence in order to produce the most polished result while Changbin liked to blast music and take breaks in the course of which he chatted with his friends to relieve some pressure.

Now, Changbin had never been the most accommodating person. He always did as he pleased regardless of who he was with, especially while he was dating— the reason why his ex dumped him in the first place, but he had to make effort for Hyunjin. 

So, he concentrated on his task. He wired his brain to think in English in order to be more efficient, to the point he almost forgot about Hyunjin.

_Almost._

The younger boy’s leg squeezed his thigh tighter than usual, his body radiated more warmth as well, and soon Changbin felt himself being slowly pushed against the backrest, with Hyunjin unceremoniously seating himself on his lap.

“You’re so hot when you’re focused,” Hyunjin told him, voice sweet and eyes half-lidded.

“What about work?” Changbin still asked for good measure, although his mind was already filled with Hyunjin, and his butt over his dick, and his plump lips near his own, and his rosy cheeks he wanted to cup, and his long blonde hair he wanted to stoke, and his voice he wanted to turn into moans.

“I just finished my part.”

“I didn’t finish mine,” he said as he playfully stopped Hyunjin from leaning in for a kiss by placing his forefinger against his rosy mouth.

“I’ll help you finish yours?” The younger boy offered while tilting his head to the side, his eyes pretty and dark.

“Deal.”

Upon hearing his answer, Hyunjin firmly fisted the back of his dark blue hair and caught his mouth. Changbin’s arms wound around his waist to bring him flat against his chest. They kissed sloppily, devouring each other with assertive tongues. Hyunjin’s legs were caging him possessively, his other hand roamed over his muscly arm, over his broad shoulder, over his pectorals where it went up to cup his jaw. 

He was whimpering into the kiss, feeling Changbin’s dick rub against his balls and the cleft of his butt. It was already stiffening beneath him, so he strayed a hand down Changbin’s belly to slip it under the elastic of his sweatpants.

Changbin hissed at the sensation of his cold fingers curling around his dick, but it felt good to finally be touched down here. He let out a moan when Hyunjin began massaging him, his arms tight around the younger boy who looked at him with intense eyes, attentively observing each of his reactions.

Then, still with his head tilted, still with a strand of hair falling over his face, he looked at his dick— which had Changbin twitching in his palm, then appreciatively gazed at his belly, at his torso, at his face.

Once their eyes met, he said in a sultry manner: “I want you inside me.”

Changbin thought he would come right on the spot.

“Now?” He breathed out, already picturing himself deeply sheathed inside the younger boy; his body followed his thoughts, and his hand cupped his small, round butt.

Hyunjin pondered over the question, his fist loosening and falling atop Changbin’s shoulder.

“Now would be too soon,” he finally replied. “Although I have no time to waste…”

“I understand. It’s the same for me,” Changbin told him with a reassuring smile. It was too soon to give in to his carnal desire to fuck Hyunjin; it wasn’t the right time, the right day, the right setting, and the right state of mind, for both of them.

“But…” Hyunjin whispered, his lips plump and parted.

“But?”

“I want you now.”

His fingers narrowed around his dick again, slowly tugging it.

“Hyunjin—” Changbin let out, driven by lust. He cupped the younger boy’s cheek with one hand and kissed him; with the other, he popped open the buttons of Hyunjin’s pants to snake his hand in his boxer briefs. 

There, he found his dick, dark pink, hairless and long, the opposite of his thick, brown one, and began massaging it.

Hyunjin was whimpering against his mouth, his thighs taut around him.

With their arms colliding between them, masturbating was tricky. So instead, Changbin lined their dicks together and spit in his hand to properly jack them off.

Hyunjin kissed clumsily, compelled by his feelings and all the sensations provided by sex. He held onto Changbin’s shoulders in an affectionate embrace, with his hand cupping the back of his head to keep him close. His hips kept bucking up to meet his hand. His pupils were blown and dark and misty, black pools of eyes bathing Changbin with so much love, it had adrenaline racing through the latter’s veins.

Changbin’s hand that was previously dancing on his lean back suddenly reached up to cup his cheek, but, in the way, accidentally collided with his left ear, the one with the hearing aid.

Hyunjin flinched in an almost inaudible whine, his palm lifting to protect his ear.

Upon realizing what he had just done, Changbin panicked.

“I’m sorry. Baby, I’m sorry.”

Hyunjin shook his head as he shrank on himself, his left shoulder lifting while his head tilted downward. He looked in pain, so fragile, like he was made of crystal.

“You didn’t do it on purpose,” Hyunjin gently told him. He took off his hearing aid; a small, black bud rolled in the hollow of his palm.

“Is it broken?” Changbin worriedly gasped.

He knew he had to tame his aggressiveness with Hyunjin, especially during sex. He couldn’t just grip him with his heavy hands, he couldn’t just pin him down against every surface. He had to take the hearing aid into consideration, on top of his sensitivity to any harsh sound. Like Changbin’s hand accidentally hitting his ear.

“No, you didn’t break it. Don’t worry.” Hyunjin gave him a reassuring smile, although a pained one. “The sound was too sudden and startled me, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry,” Changbin repeated, gently circling his arms around his lover’s waist. He kissed his forehead, then his cheek, and finally his shoulder. “I forgot. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“It’s okay.” Hyunjin softly pecked his lips. “But what about this?” Hyunjin’s mouth jutted into a defeated pout, as he looked down at their dicks that had slightly deflated during the accident.

“I can still go on…” Changbin breathed out, his dick filling in interest because Hyunjin was now touching it.

“Me too,” Hyunjin hummed, before catching his lips into a tender kiss.

This time, he was the one to spit in his palm and jack them off. It was a slower pace, made of lingering kisses and wandering hands. Changbin touched him more carefully, treated him like he was a piece of sugar, with loving and gentle hands. 

  
  
  


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They were at Chan’s modest apartment. Changbin, Jisung, their friends from the music faculty, and Hyunjin.

They were listening to tracks they had made; paying close attention to lyrics they had written; sharing their opinions, be it positive or negative. The music was loud, high volume in order to feel everything the song conveyed: every note, every instrument, every emotion.

It was a monthly listening party they had been organizing since their first year. It was a way to relieve stress, to escape reality with music that made their heart pulsate, that transformed their blood into adrenaline, that made them feel drunk even if they were only consuming sodas.

Music was what made them feel alive. Dilated pupils, goosebumps, and sweat, music was this thrilling sensation that filled their lungs with beats, harmonies, voices and that evaporated through their pores. Rational and high at the same time, they were dancing on their seats, headbanging when the beat dropped hard, when voices transformed into screams.

It was like they had a taste of how amazing the world could be, and during these moments, they knew nothing but deep happiness.

Sometimes, Changbin didn’t feel anything, only the void and the gloom it brought. Numb, he used music to feel many, many things. No fancy car, no shiny life, just music, and his friends, because while he couldn’t live without music, he also couldn’t live without sharing. The experience always felt better with people to share the thrill with.

He was physically unable to live his life without blasting music in his ears. In the bus, during breaks, when he studied, at home, everywhere he went he wore music like a coat that enveloped him from head to toe. His body needed music like shots in his veins; silence had him thinking and always fed his anxiety like blowing on an ember whose smoke was eternally growing.

Today, the boy he loved so much was here. Calmer than everyone else, sitting on the giant couch, with his legs dangling from Changbin’s thick thigh, Hyunjin was attentively listening to each track.

Sometimes he would do cute dances, sometimes he would just nod, but all the time Changbin noticed that Hyunjin was feeling the music like he did, if not more, since his gestures were a direct translation of the emotions music conveyed.

He was always so beautiful when he was dancing, even when he did silly dances that made Jisung dance along, limbs uncoordinated.

Changbin often wondered how he got this one, even if dating Hyunjin had inflated his ego to no end. His power of seduction stopped at bragging and grinning here and there, and luckily for him, Hyunjin found it funny. 

The ballet dancer only needed two things: to be entertained and to feel loved. Two things Changbin away ace at. Loving Hyunjin was easy, he was alluring, tantalizing, with a kind heart and a delicateness, a sensitivity that ignited Changbin’s strong need to protect, to be reliable, to be a hero.

However, while they grew excited the more hours passed, Hyunjin’s energy was simmering down to the point he was simply snuggled up to his lover.

“Are you tired?” Changbin mouthed in worry; he knew Hyunjin preferred reading lips when it was too loud.

Hyunjin nodded weakly, his soft cheek squished against the older boy’s shoulder.

It was getting late too, almost midnight.

“Let’s go home then.” He silently added, smiling to show the ballet dancer that leaving the party wouldn’t be a problem. “Your well being comes first.”

“Awww, Changbin. That’s a first! You’ve become so thoughtful!” Jisung teased him out loud from where he was sitting next to him. He also had been reading lips ever since he met Hyunjin. “Not doing whatever you want for once!”

“Shut up!” Changbin groaned while pushing him off the couch.

Beside them, Hyunjin let out a tired giggle.

They said goodbye to everyone and armed themselves with their autumn coats— a black puffer jacket for Changbin and a brown trench coat for Hyunjin.

Outside, Hyunjin heaved a sigh of relief as he was finally meeting silence. He fluttered his eyes shut to appreciate the tranquility of the night and took a deep, yet quiet breath. Then, he observed the starry sky as they walked, holding his lover’s hand and trusting him on the sidewalk.

“Be careful, there’s a step here,” Changbin casually warned him. He took the step and turned to face Hyunjin who was now looking at him. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” Hyunjin replied in a hushed tone. He hopped over the step and leaned down to peck his forehead. “I can’t wait to be in bed, though.”

“Oh, I can’t wait either.” Changbin grinned, picturing something other than sleep. Adrenaline was still flooding his veins, so he needed to unleash it. 

Hyunjin snorted at that, not surprised because the older boy had always been a tad hornier than the boys he had dated before.

In Changbin’s pickup car, they turned on the heating system and headed to Hyunjin’s apartment.

“Did you have fun?” Changbin curiously asked him.

He hadn’t been able to make up his mind about whether or not bringing Hyunjin to the party was a good idea. The younger boy was his polar opposite: he loved quiet places, he spoke softly and he found comfort when he was doing his activities alone. What if Changbin’s loud, animated parties hurt him because he had to concentrate too much and for a long time?

He had asked Chan and Jisung, his closest friends, about it, and both had told him to invite Hyunjin at least once. They could still leave if Hyunjin wanted, after all.

In the end, he believed it turned out well.

“I did. It was fun.” Hyunjin smiled tiredly. “I like Jisung’s tracks the most. They’re so peaceful.”

Muffled in his big coat and scarf like this, with his sleepy eyes, red nose, and two front teeth, he looked like a dainty bunny.

“I agree about that.”

“But I love yours too. They’re explosive and make me want to dance,” he added while reaching to grip his lover’s hand holding the gearshift. 

Oh, Changbin could totally see Hyunjin unleash the beast within him on his tracks.

He drove to Hyunjin’s apartment with the radio turned on low volume.

When they arrived, happy to finally be in a cozy place, his parents were watching a popular Korean show in the living room. Their small dog was asleep between them, so Hyunjin simply pecked the top of his canine friend's head to say goodnight.

“Did you boys have fun?” Hyunjin’s mother asked while affectionately stroking her son’s hair from where he was crouching near her knees.

“We did, it was like a mini-concert,” Hyunjin replied truthfully, appreciatively closing his eyes under her gentle touch. 

After wishing them a good night, both boys went into the bathroom to take a quick shower together.

In the bedroom, they nestled against each other in Hyunjin’s single bed for warmth.

The younger boy had taken off his hearing aid before the shower— he never wore it during the night, so he was now sleeping on his right side, with his ear against Changbin’s chest, to listen to his heartbeats. He quickly fell asleep, drained, while Changbin stayed awake for another two hours, busy on his phone, as adrenaline was still causing a fast pulse. 

The morning after, they ate a copious breakfast to prepare themselves for the day ahead.

It was a sunny Saturday and Hyunjin wanted to go rambling with Changbin in the Gwangneung Arboretum forest; an enormous area, to the south of Seoul, that contained fifteen specialized forests and beautiful gardens made of leafy trees, flowers, and rivers.

Little did Changbin know that it was where Hyunjin’s story was going to unfold.

They parked in the parking lot provided for hikers and walkers, equipped themselves with their backpacks, and directly entered the woods without taking any paths.

The trees were grand, with sun rays passing through their foliage; their green leaves discolored into yellows and reds at ends, and the fertile ground was sprinkled with dead leaves and dry fruits that cracked under their footsteps. It smelled like dew, earth, and like cold wind. Only the faint sound of birds chirping indicated there was life in these tranquil woods.

“Do you come here often?” Changbin breathed out while jumping over a fallen trunk. 

“I used to come here whenever I was stressed. Now, not so much since I’m busy with classes and dance,” Hyunjin explained as he happily swirled on himself, eyes on the foliaged trees above them. He was in his element, happy and pretty. “I miss coming here,” he softly spoke.

He tucked a strand of blonde hair behind his ear, bathed in the sunrays, and Changbin stared at him, enchanted. He felt like a hunter coming across a beautiful fawn. 

“Were you coming alone?”

“Yes.”

“What were you doing here? Isn’t it dangerous to be here alone?”

Hyunjin let out a giggle.

“Don’t worry. I have the forest mapped out in my head.”

“I’m not worried… I mean, I still have my survival tool with me if necessary.”

Hyunjin spun on his heels to look at him with an amused grin and half-lidded eyes.

“I promise you we are alone here. Just the two of us,” he told him, before taking a step to cup his face and gently peck his lips. “Also, if anything, I’m pretty sure I run faster than you.” His eyes were gleaming with mischief again.

“Excuse me? With your lanky body? I don’t think so,” Changbin unceremoniously retorted, his ego prickled. He was a competitive boy, full of spirit, and always eager to take risks, there was nothing he couldn’t do.

Entertained, Hyunjin pinched his cheek.

“Lanky? That’s not what you say when you bend me in half.”

Changbin looked away, flustered because of the intimate images suddenly invading his mind.

“I’m still stronger,” he groaned petulantly, his cheeks red and blown.

_Come on,_ Hyunjin was a twig next to him. A flower. Pretty and easy to break. Changbin thrived on being reliable, it was his instinct to protect, even if he was a bit clumsy or, on the contrary, too abrupt. If anything happened to Hyunjin, he would simply smash and defeat it with his fists.

“You definitely are,” the younger boy confirmed with a lovely smile.

They walked across the strong and slender beech trees some more until they reached an area made of lush grass and foam alongside a narrow river. There, Hyunjin laid out the blanket he had kept in his backpack and eagerly invited Changbin to sit next to him.

While Hyunjin sat with his back straight and with his arms hugging his legs against his chest, Changbin nonchalantly spread his legs and propped his elbows atop his knees before knotting his hands together in a circle.

“This is like your safe haven, right? Where mine is my workroom,” Changbin said quietly, feeling relaxed, especially after their long walk in such a pleasant area.

“Yes.” Hyunjin took a deep breath, then silently let it out. He was good at doing that: controlling his voice, his body, and the sounds he was making. “In winter, when the water is frozen, I like to listen to the sound of the ice cracking, stirred by the waves.”

“That sounds beautiful.”

“Is there anything you like to listen to?”

Changbin closed his eyes and lifted his head to take in the breeze that ruffled his hair.

“I like the sound of the fire consuming the logs in the chimney.”

“Oh, I’d love to listen to that one day…”

“During winter, my dad puts logs in our chimney,” he explained as he looked back at his lover whose nose was tinting more and more in pink. He lived in a fancy house with a huge chimney made of polished marble. Winter evenings were his favorites because the chimney always gathered his family together since they all loved the warm atmosphere. “You’ll come home as soon as it snows, and listen to the fire with us.”

“Yes, please.”

“What else do you like to listen to?”

Hyunjin looked around with a radiant smile and, like Changbin earlier, appreciated the touch of the breeze through his long blonde hair that flew around his face.

“I love listening to the wind,” he softly said, humming contentedly as the wind blew on their faces.

“The wind?” Changbin thought the wind had no sound, except when it was hitting surfaces.

Here, all he was hearing was the foliage and his own breathing condensing into drops in the inside of his puffer jacket. It was too quiet for him, the silence was somewhat oppressive because it left him without his bearings.

“Maybe it’s weird… Whenever I speak about the wind, people give me a funny look,” Hyunjin explained in a smaller voice, shiny eyes saddening. “But the wind helped me a lot.”

“Helped you after you lost the hearing from your left ear?”

“Yes.”

“What happened?” Changbin casually asked, taming his curiosity. While he had no problem talking about his scars here and there, he knew it wasn’t the case for everyone; talking about wounds usually opened them too. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“But I want to…”

Hyunjin pivoted on his butt to face him, so Changbin shifted to sit cross-legged in front of him.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know how… It has always been hard to speak. I’ve only gotten comfortable speaking recently,” Hyunjin, once more, spoke with carefully articulated words. He placed his chin atop his knees and averted his shiny eyes. “I had to work on my diction too, and it’s still exhausting now, on top of concentrating on the sounds I’m not used to hearing.”

Which was why the forest was his safe haven, Changbin understood. No sound, no one else around, no stress, no expectation.

“I have all the time in the world to listen to you,” Changbin suavely quipped while reaching to hold one of his hands. Hyunjin slowly intertwined their fingers on top of his lover’s crossed legs. “I could look at you and listen to you all day. I could hold your hand and never let go until death tears us apart.” He was grinning.

Hyunjin chuckled in amusement, his creasing eyes now twinkling with life.

“I suffer from sensorineural hearing loss following an accident when I was sixteen.”

Changbin gave him a confused look while his mouth slightly parted, likely figuring out what sensorineural meant.

“Sensorineural?”

“It means the inside of my ear is damaged.”

“Oh… How? What was the accident?”

Hyunjin looked over the trees, his eyes darkening as he was remembering the past.

“I wanted to become an athlete so I joined the soccer club when I was a child,” he slowly began, the arm still around his legs tightening. “I trained and followed an athlete’s lifestyle in the hopes of joining the pros when I would be old enough… Until I got hit by a soccer ball right on my left ear.” He took a breath and his shoulders slumped down in defeat. “It was so painful.”

Changbin remembered getting hit in the face by a fake soccer ball in middle school. He remembered the pain, even if kids were weaker than trained players, even if the ball wasn’t blown up to its maximum. So, he couldn’t begin to imagine what level of pain and what kind of damage a strong ball at high speed caused.

“I’m sorry,” he told him, at a loss of words.

But that wasn’t the worst part.

“If only it stopped at the pain…” Hyunjin absentmindedly said, his fingers toying with his lover’s. “I went to the hospital because I was bleeding, and then I realized, while the doctor was talking with my coach, that I couldn’t hear anything from my injured ear.” His voice was now laden with resentment.

“What happened next?”

“I couldn’t play soccer anymore. My balance was messed up, I couldn’t hear my teammates or my coach’s instructions. And I felt like I was cut out from half of the world.” He unfolded his legs and mirrored Changbin’s position. He put his unoccupied hand atop their hold with his fingers facing the sky, and looked at the void in the hollow of his palm. “My dream was gone.”

Changbin frowned, now realizing the implication.

“What happened to the one who caused all of this?”

“Nothing. He didn’t hit me on purpose. It was an accident.”

“But your ear, your dream—”

“I know. I wanted to find the culprit so I could aim my hatred towards him instead of myself.”

“Hyunjin…” Changbin whispered, his heart heavy. He held Hyunjin’s other hand tightly to convey his empathy. If he had been there, he would have beaten up the kid who had done this to his Hyunjin, although he was aware violence didn’t solve anything. Still, he felt so worked up even now, listening to this story that happened four years ago. “That’s...”

If he had to live without one ear, without the tool that allowed him to experience music, he would have gone insane. Music was the blood in his veins, the pulsation in his body, the very essence of his life. The idea of losing his hearing scared him, and that was the very moment when he grasped what kind of darkness Hyunjin had faced.

“It was hard at first. I stopped speaking because I started to sound funny as it was hard to keep up with conversations. And because I couldn’t play soccer anymore. I was feeling so lonely, so useless, so stupid, so sad all the time,” Hyunjin murmured. “So I came here, and I tried to fight my loss of balance by walking on fallen trees.”

His lips turned into a smile at the remembrance; an infectious smile that had the older boy smiling too.

“I was hopping on the dead trunks, on the dead leaves, and I was swirling, and it took time but it was working! And then I told my parents I wanted to dance.”

“Dancing helped you with your balance to the point you don’t need your hearing aid anymore,” Changbin completed since Hyunjin had mentioned that before, the day he saw him dance for the first time. 

“Yes, and honestly I love dancing more than soccer,” Hyunjin chirped, eyes creasing like crescents moons and cheeks rosy. “It makes me feel free.”

“Dancing fits you.” Changbin squeezed his hands. “You’re so passionate and beautiful when you’re dancing. Like a swan.”

“A swan,” the younger boy joyfully repeated. “Thank you.”

“I mean it.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for my hearing aid. It helps so many of us with hearing problems. But dancing is the only time I don’t need it.”

“That’s true, and again, I find you so impressive,” Changbin told him as he gently pulled him on his lap. Hyunjin wrapped his limbs around him and fluttered his eyes shut when he leaned up to kiss his lovely mouth. “Because it must have been beyond hard.”

Hyunjin hummed against his mouth.

“I was in a very dark place, but I feel so much happier now.”

He was blooming.

The more Changbin spent time with him, the more he learned and noticed. He was right the first time he had witnessed Hyunjin dancing: he was a beast, implacable and determined, in the shape of a beautiful, dainty flower. He defeated his gloom, his wide-open wound, and turned it into a weapon, because Changbin was convinced a being as alluring and diligent didn’t exist. 

There hadn’t been one like Hyunjin since Hyunjin.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Changbin gently said while threading his finger through the soft blonde hair that ornamented his lover’s angelic face.

He pecked his cold lips, and soon they were kissing on top of the blanket. 

Hyunjin was melting in his protective embrace; his curious tongue was caressing his own at a slow pace, igniting his arousal in the low of his belly. Then, Changbin laid him down on the blanket and left a trail of affectionate kisses along his neck.

“Changbin…” Hyunjin faintly called, warm puffs of air leaving his mouth. “Have you ever done it in the woods?”

“No. Why? Have you?”

“Never…” He trailed, his eyes innocent. “But I’d love to mark this place with you,” he added in a murmur. A mischievous grin twisted the corner of his mouth, and his thigh pushed up against the older boy’s dick that instantly twitched at the contact. “What do you say?”

“Yes,” Changbin simply blurted out, his hazy mind and desire taking the upper hand over him.

Hyunjin placed his hand on his chest and pushed him sideways until he was laying down in turn. He kneeled between his thick thighs, gripped the hard-on that could be seen through his sweatpants, and leaned down to blow over his bulge, earning a whimper Changbin couldn’t keep in.

  
  
  


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Changbin arrived late to his weekly English lecture and, as usual, Hyunjin had saved a seat next to him in the first row. He squeezed his bony knee to greet him, only to be met with a tired smile, which immediately worried Changbin.

But instead of questioning the younger boy, he placed his arm over the backrest behind Hyunjin and let him lean on his forearm. 

When the professor was answering questions, Hyunjin leaned against his shoulder and pressed the side of their thighs together. He always found comfort in touches and Changbin would always let him touch him.

“Do you want to come to the workroom with me after?” Changbin quietly asked him.

He felt bolder since Hyunjin seeking his comfort fed his ego and made him feel stronger. So, he gently played with the back of his lover’s hair. Normally, they toned down their affection in public, but today, Changbin allowed himself slight touches because Hyunjin needed them.

The younger boy softly hummed as a response.

After the lecture, they walked across campus to the music faculty. All along, Changbin held Hyunjin’s cold hand in the safety of his jacket pocket. He managed to find a free workroom with a couch that he booked for the rest of the morning.

Inside the small and warm room, Hyunjin instantly flopped on the couch, the strap of his satchel still around his body.

“It’s good to finally be in a tranquil place,” he gratefully commented.

Changbin put his backpack on the rectangular wooden table and helped Hyunjin take off his satchel, before placing it on the table as well.

Hyunjin followed him with his round, sparkly eyes, so when Changbin was about to sit on the couch, he lifted his legs up to make room for him, then let them fall on top of his lap.

“Are you sick?” Changbin asked in concern, his hands gripping the younger boy’s calves.

“No, it’s not that,” Hyunjin replied while slipping off his shoes. “The ballet show is coming up, so they’re making us train extra hours. I may have danced too hard yesterday because my body hurts so much.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.” Hyunjin pouted. “It’s okay though, I’ll take a warm bath tonight.”

“That’s a great idea.” Changbin began snaking his hands under the hem of his lover’s pants to massage his calves. “You forgot to tell me if you were picked as one of the main characters for the show yesterday.”

“Sorry about that. I went home late.” His lips knotted into a cute pout again. “But I was picked to play my solo performance!”

“So, I’m going to see you in a tutu?” Changbin suggestively wiggled his eyebrows.

Hyunjin snorted.

“More likely than you think because I’m playing a fairy… With a sheer skirt.”

“Interesting,” the older boy said in a suave voice, earning a weak kick.

“You see me naked all the time!” 

“It’s not the same! I’m curious to see how you look all dolled up and covered by glitter,” Changbin explained, still massaging his smooth calves. “It’s similar to how you like seeing me aggressively rap, I like seeing you gracefully dance. The tutu is just a bonus.”

(He was referring to the gigs where he and his music major friends performed at trendy bars for a low pay. Hyunjin was always so excited, always dancing in a silly way with their mutual friends, and he was also so touchy, so cuddly, so warm during their ride home— which had the tendency to conjure Changbin’s carnal desire, that he ended up whimpering Changbin’s name with his head thrown back and with his hands gripping the sheets.)

“What is my bonus then?”

“When I wear a tank top and tight jeans.”

A lovely smile bloomed on Hyunjin’s lips, and then his eyes, candid until now, mentally undressed him.

“Very true.”

He extended his hand to grip the collar of the older boy’s jacket and pull him down on top of him.

Changbin caged his lover against the back of the couch. Their legs and arms were tangled together as they lovingly kissed each other in comfortable silence; only the faint sound of the wind hitting the window brought life to the room in a somewhat lullaby.

“Tell me where it hurts?” Changbin murmured against his mouth.

“My neck and shoulders,” Hyunjin replied sleepily as he nestled against Changbin’s chest, where it was squishy and warm.

Changbin had the top of his lover’s head right below his face, which allowed him to smell the sweet fragrance of his shampoo. He breathed the softness of his blonde hair while gently slipping his right hand under the fabric of his white pale knitted sweater. Hyunjin hissed at the touch of his cold fingers, but relaxed when they started massaging the curve of his shoulder.

“Like this?”

Hyunjin contentedly hummed again, comfortable in his lover’s strong and warm arms. The slow of his breathing, the sound of his heart, the rustle of his clothes all created a climate of trust where he felt loved and protected.

Unrelenting in nature, especially at school where he had to concentrate the most, he felt like he could let his guard down as soon as he was with Changbin.

“Feels good,” he softly said, appreciating his lover’s hands over the sore muscles of his shoulders.

Changbin firmly pressed his fingers against the dip of his backbone and let them roam across his shoulder blades. The more painful, the better, because it meant his muscles would soon feel like they lost their thick knots.

Besides, Changbin was also smothering his head with kisses. What more did he need?

“Yo, man!” Jisung suddenly shouted in an English accent as he burst into the room unannounced. But upon seeing them, he said: “Oh? am I interrupting something?”

“Only your common sense!” Changbin groaned, looking daggers at him since his abrupt and loud voice had made Hyunjin flinch.

“Why?” Jisung closed the door and approached, only to realize what he had just done when his eyes met Hyunjin's. “Man, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hyunjin told him, shifting into a sitting position to give his friend a place next to them. “Is it lunchtime yet?”

“Not yet, it’s only eleven pm,” Jisung replied. He nonchalantly propped his feet on the table, making him almost bend over himself, and took out his phone.

“Did you just leave class?” Changbin asked him, surprised. He extended his arm over the backrest of the couch for Hyunjin to comfortably lay against his chest.

“Yeah, it was boring without you, so I left.”

“Wait a minute,” Hyunjin said, his eyebrows knitted into a frown at the attention of his lover. “Are you supposed to be in class right now?”

“Um… Yes.”

“Are you skipping class to spend time with me?”

“Yeah… I don’t want to leave you alone when you’re not in a good condition.” Changbin’s cheeks flustered at the confession.

“Aw, that’s so romantic!” Jisung remarked with his feet kicking the air comically.

  
  
  


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Like the first time he came to the dance academy, Changbin looked at his reflection in the water of the fountain.

He had parted his hair to each side of his face today, instead of his usual hairstyle that involved his hair slicked back under a baseball cap.

He had also eaten out with his friends, then taken the bus with Jisung at seven pm in the direction of the dance academy where the ballet show would take place.

Next to him, Jisung was checking himself out as well.

“What? Maybe I’ll meet a hot dancer too,” he explained after Changbin raised one quizzical eyebrow.

“We’re here for Hyunjin, not for you to get laid,” Changbin nonchalantly pointed out. “But whatever you do, I’m not helping you, alright?”

They were walking towards the entrance of the building now.

“Like I ever needed your help to get someone’s number.”

“You did. Twice.”

“In my defense, they were your friends. So, I obviously had to get to them through you!”

Changbin let out a defeated sigh, to which Jisung stuck his tongue out in victory. Really, his friend was insufferable. They could go on like this for hours, simply because Jisung, adorable and funny yet a real handful, was never out of words. 

At the entrance, they showed their tickets to the receptionist and went inside the grand theatre where the seats were made of burgundy quilted fabric and where the velvet curtains hid the stage.

In the dim light, they could only make out the shadows of the people already seated in a quiet brouhaha.

They politely took off their caps, found their row, the second one reserved for the dancers’ relatives, and greeted Hyunjin’s parents next to whom they sat. Mrs. Hwang asked them about their day while affectionately taming down a strand of wild hair that was weirdly sticking out of Changbin’s head.

It was a Saturday evening, Hyunjin had left home at ten am in order to rehearse and prepare for the ballet show. Changbin hadn’t had a text since the morning; their first time not hearing about each other for so long. It was strange because Hyunjin’s absence felt like his non-existence since he was somewhere out of Changbin’s reach.

(“You watch too many movies. You always think something will happen to me,” Hyunjin pointed out one day, worried about his lover’s mind that was mounting worst-case scenarios, one after another. Of course, Changbin had re-evaluated his way of looking at things, even if his protective side had never interfered with their relationship, but he at least wanted to know where Hyunjin was, just in case.)

At eight pm, the lights switched off and the room became pitch black.

The velvet curtains slowly drew open to reveal the stage bathed in a white light and decorated with minimal, monochrome props.

Faint melodies of both piano and violin began to resonate, followed by the ballet dancers appearing one by one on their tiptoes.

They entered the stage in two lines, from the left and from the right, dressed in white, minimal clothing.

The female dancers had long, thin skirts tied around their slender waist with a golden waistband. The shape of what looked like an armor made of thin fabric was sewn on the collar of their white skin-tight tops, and their arms were bare, save for the sheer fabric flying around their shoulders like wings. It was very minimal, very sophisticated; only the pearls in their tied hair gleamed under the light as decoration.

Their male counterparts looked the same: stockings draped the hard muscles of their legs and an armor-like thin shirt covered the upper half of their bodies, with the sleeves flying like wings under the suppleness of their movements.

The main couple, dancing in the center, stood out with glitter scattered over the fabric of their costume and with heavier makeup around their solemn eyes.

The dancers moved gracefully, like they were unattainable, impervious beings coming from the depths of the sky. They were supple, yet had bodies as hard as a rock; looked light, silent, like feathers, yet their strength foretold a heavy power.

When Changbin found Hyunjin, the middle one in his line on the left, all the air in his lungs slowly vanished.

He who was watching the beginning of this show with unfocused eyes, suddenly couldn’t leave the sight befalling him: Hyunjin dancing across the stage, at the pace of the piano, like a lithe doll swirling in its music box. His blonde hair was parted to the side, with two locks framing his little face beautifully.

The dignified way he was dancing had Changbin feeling like he was a mere peasant in the face of the most immaculate prince.

Hyunjin was, like his peers, focused, black eyes void and shining like marbles under the spotlight, but he was the most alluring being in Changbin’s fascinated ones.

“All while without the use of his hearing aid?” He heard Jisung admiratively whisper next to him. “Shit, that’s dedication. He’s unbreakable.”

Changbin wondered if everything was real until Hyunjin’s gaze brushed over the room and their eyes locked for a brief second. Whether or not Hyunjin saw him was a mystery, but Changbin felt like thunder just struck him.

He wasn’t his lover anymore, wasn’t the simple boy he kissed every morning; he was an alluring ballet dancer, an artist who had Changbin spellbound. Like when you stared at the sky for too long, and you felt the power of its magnificence, its expansiveness crushing you breathless and anxious. Changbin felt like he was staring at a pitch-black sky whose only star swirled like Hyunjin.

When the curtains drew close at the end of the first act, finally allowing him to breathe in a normal way as the applause resounded, Changbin realized he had no idea what the story was about, given he only stared at his special boy. 

Was it about a battle between two lovers from opposite sides? He hoped Hyunjin wouldn’t question him on that matter.

During the short break separating the two acts, Hyunjin’s mother who was sitting next to him squeezed his hand in excitement. Her face only expressed the pride of a parent admirative of her child. He could only squeeze back and share her excitement.

Then, came Hyunjin’s act.

The melodies of the piano were more juvenile this time. The white light shifted to a warmer, more golden tone, paired with a blueish glimmer and decorations that displayed a snow forest, as if the twilight was coating a glacial atmosphere.

Hyunjin delicately appeared on his tiptoes, the same way a deer appeared on a road. He was in an all-white costume, wearing a sequined fabric that draped the sides of his butt like a skirt and another one that was covering each of his shoulders towards the low of his lean back.

He looked so small, so dainty among the decor that was purposefully bigger than his size to highlight his role as a fairy.

(Changbin wanted to take him in the hollow of his palm, to gently peck the top of his tiny head, to rub his cheek with the tip of one knuckle.)

At some point, the hum of wasps emerged from the back of the theatre to the stage where the ominous shadow of the swarm stood above Hyunjin’s delicate figure; he was looking up, arms around his petite waist, to express fear.

As the story unfolded, the one of a fairy too weak and left alone in a vast and dangerous forest, Changbin thought he had never met someone so expressive in his life, so much with his gestures than with his facial expressions. He observed the growth of the fairy, becoming stronger, braver, battling nature until he dominated it; he observed each curve, each dip, each bone of his body with enamored eyes.

The fairy was dancing before him, free and exquisite.

Changbin’s heart was thrumming inside him, his love infinite.

At the end of his act, Hyunjin deployed his arms and hopped on one pointed foot to twirl on himself. The melodies faintly disappeared, leaving the public in satisfied silence, with Hyunjin finishing his twirl, arms lifted above his head solemnly thrown back, like wings.

The spectators applauded.

Changbin regained his composure, regained his breathing that had stopped again.

He heard a sniffle next to him: Hyunjin’s mother was quietly sobbing, with her husband’s arm wrapped around her shoulders in a comforting embrace. They were touched and proud.

The next acts were the same as the first one, momentous and gorgeous, as Hyunjin was dancing in the background. Nonetheless, he was the most beautiful and the only being Changbin was able to see.

At the end of the show, the dancers held hands and bowed to the spectators who stood up in a standing ovation.

The theatre emptied out in its usual brouhaha after that, save for the dancers’ relatives who waited between the rows. Changbin greeted Hyunjin’s friends he hadn’t noticed in the dark. There was his best friend, a well-mannered kid called Seungmin, and his neighbor, Jeongin, who gave Changbin a toothy smile.

They chatted while Hyunjin’s parents exchanged words with other parents; agreeing on the fact that the ballet show was an unforgettable experience, as they weren’t used to such visuals, grace and power, and that Hyunjin’s performance was beyond what they ever imagined it to be.

After a short while, some dancers came from backstage to meet their relatives, costumes hidden beneath their winter coats.

Hyunjin appeared behind his peers, beaming once he spotted them in the theatre.

He hopped down from the stage, his open puffy coat was floating around his lithe body, and was immediately scolded by his mother who didn’t want him to irresponsibly hurt his legs. He pouted at her, then wound his arms around Jisung and Seungmin whose hands clipped on each side of his waist.

“Did you enjoy the show?” He asked with beautiful, expectant eyes.

He looked like a totally different being, too princely, too exquisite.

“Your solo act must have been the story I understood the fastest,” Seungmin told him while squeezing his waist. “Sometimes, it was hard to pick up where the story was going, but yours was easy to understand because of your emotions.”

Hyunjin’s eyes sparkled at the praise, likely waiting for this kind of comment over the ones about his dancing skills.

He thanked his best friend in a shy, hushed voice, then Jisung proceeded to question him about the pain in his feet, the lack of comfort of his costume, the wings that could get in the way, and what if someone lost balance and collided with everyone? What if someone wanted to sneeze during a jump? What if they sneezed?

“Why are you the only one without abs?” Jisung finally asked. He suggestively wagged his eyebrows while patting his tummy.

“How would you know that?” Changbin arched a quizzical eyebrow. As far as he knew, Jisung had never seen Hyunjin naked, unless they showed each other’s tummies behind his back. Given how silly they both became together, that wouldn’t be a surprise.

“Because Hyunjin and I, we—”

“He doesn’t know anything,” Seungmin interrupted their chatty friend as he playfully pinched him with the hand that was holding Hyunjin.

“Stop trying to make Changbin jealous,” Hyunjin said in amusement.

His grin, innocent up until now, twisted into arrogance, and when Changbin met his dark and intense eyes, the low of his belly lit like a matchstick. He shifted on his feet, suddenly too warm, too uncomfortable in his clothes.

Jeongin, who was staring at Hyunjin with mesmerized eyes all this time, understood what was going on and pulled a disgusted face.

They still discussed the ballet show, curious questions, and praises that flushed Hyunjin’s already rosy cheeks, while following his parents outside.

How long did they have to train for a show of this scale? Who decided about the themes, the music, the costumes, and the makeup? Who picked the main characters and why? Questions that made Hyunjin happy because he felt like his friends were genuinely interested in him. He loved compliments that acknowledged his hard work, but he adored telling more about his universe.

Once they reached Hyunjin’s parents’ car, his mother asked in the direction of Changbin and Jisung:

“Boys, do you know how to go home?”

“Yes ma’am!” Jisung animatedly answered.

“We’re going to take the bus,” Changbin explained, feeling his lover’s arms lacing around his middle.

“I can’t wait to be home with you,” Hyunjin murmured against the shell of his ear, with his little chin placed atop his shoulder.

He smelled like makeup and a foreign fabric softener.

“Me neither.” Changbin felt the push of his plump lips against his cheek.

“See you later.”

Changbin and Jisung left them to walk towards their bus stop.

“You’re still coming with me until I’m home, right?” The younger boy’s voice was laden with anxiety. He had his hands in his pockets while he stood on jittery legs.

“Of course. I’m coming with you,” Changbin reassured him. “Only then, I’ll go back to Hyunjin’s.”

“Right.”

They waited ten minutes at the bus stop before boarding the bus. It was half-past ten, so lucky for them, the bus wasn’t crowded. Still, Jisung preferred to be accompanied instead of taking public transportation alone given his social anxiety.

During the ride, they talked about their group project for their Music History course, the one that covered Antiquity through Renaissance.

They talked about Hyunjin, about his grace, his costume, and how he was the only one among their group of friends who looked like a capable and deadly elf from the Lord of the Rings, yet whose sensitivity transformed all his power into something so dainty, like a rose with thorns that didn’t cut.

They talked about his hearing loss, wondered if they would have pursued music if they couldn’t hear from one ear. Most likely.

When they reached his neighborhood, Jisung got off with a wave and with his hood pulled over his head to keep himself warm.

It took Changbin twenty more minutes to arrive at his destination.

Inside the building, where he stood in front of the Hwangs’ door, the delicious smell of homemade food filled the air.

Changbin rang the bell, impatient from the idea of being with his lover again and also from satisfying his unexpected hunger.

Hyunjin opened the door and let him enter into the vestibule, before falling in his arms into a warm hug.

The familiar scent of sweet almond oil and familiar fabric softener took over the smell of food, and all noise faded away as the younger boy’s breathing softly brushed against his ear, appeasing Changbin like it always did.

He wondered if he would ever get bored of the ballet dancer; if this step in their relationship, an efflorescence of passion and constant longing for each other, would last forever.

Because happiness was coursing through his veins ever since they met, he was afraid of a life wherein their mutual love withered.

“Are you hungry?” Hyunjin mouthed, pressing the tip of their noses together.

“Very,” Changbin mouthed back. His arms were still securely knotted around the younger boy’s waist. “Have you eaten yet?”

“No, I was waiting for you.”

In the silence, Changbin tiptoed to pick his rosy mouth.

After their lingering kiss, they went into the modern kitchen where Hyunjin’s mother was filling two plates.

They sat down at the table side by side, facing her while she was snacking on fresh figs instead of the substantial food she prepared for them.

She was watching them eat with a smile.

“Mom, why are you smiling?” Hyunjin tilted his head, his innocent eyes locked with her sparkly ones.

(He had her soft features, her keen eyes, her elegant hands, her silky hair. He was her younger self as a boy, except for his nose, that was his father’s.)

(He had her keen mind, her intimidating stance, too.)

“You know what it is that mothers love to watch the most?”

“Their children eating,” Changbin pipped in, his grin lopsided and proud. Upon seeing the surprised look on her face, he added: “One day, with my older sister, I was eating soup she had prepared, and she was just sitting there, looking at us with a smile. So, I asked her why she was smiling, because I must have looked stupid inhaling all that soup. She just replied that she loved watching her kids eat her food.”

“Aw,” she cooed. “Well, only mothers can understand the feeling.”

“Fathers too. Trust me,” Hyunjin’s father yelled from the living room.

Once replete, they called it a night, wished good night to his parents and went into his bedroom.

Changbin who was feeling gross after such a day, especially after taking the bus many times, left his whiny lover on top of his bed to go take a shower.

Besides, he knew they would be having sex at some point in the night, because he could smell Hyunjin’s arousal in the thick, sweet-scented air he had been breathing in the bedroom.

He could read it in Hyunjin’s eyes, sparkling with desire.

He could also read it in his body language; the younger boy’s favorite thing was to cage Changbin between his legs and never let go.

When Changbin went back into the bedroom, dressed in shorts and a simple black t-shirt, and with a towel around his neck, he found Hyunjin in the same position he had left him in: holding a pillow between his arms and his thighs on top of the sheets.

From the bed, the younger boy silently checked him out with intense, dark eyes.

The room was dim, lit by the bedside table that bathed them in a glowy orange.

Changbin walked closer and Hyunjin let go of the pillow to support himself on his elbows.

There was no sound inside of the bedroom, only the faint voices coming from the television in the living room, where Hyunjin’s parents were likely watching a drama.

Changbin dried his hair with his towel while looking at Hyunjin who laid back down and slowly parted his bare legs. He was wearing shorts as well, but they were shorter than his own and pooled at the nooks of his pelvic area.

At the sight, Changbin felt his carnal pleasure snake along his belly to circle his thighs.

One of Hyunjin’s bare feet touched his knee, then slowly crawled up along his thigh until it stopped against his dick. Changbin hissed at the warm pressure, his hips instinctively pushed against the sole of his foot to chase this brief pleasure. Without noticing that the hands that were still holding the towel above his head had stopped moving.

However, Hyunjin slipped his foot under his t-shirt, brushing against the bare skin of his soft belly, and crawled higher, crawled to rub his nipple. 

Changbin’s dick filled up with interest in his shorts, his vision blurred, losing sight of Hyunjin’s rosy mouth that was twisting into a satisfying grin.

“Mmm… Why are you so covered?” Hyunjin’s voice was laden with a mix of mischief and desire.

His voice breaking the silence took Changbin out of his reverie.

“Why are you so impatient?” He asked instead. He brought down the towel to throw it on the desk behind them.

“I have not seen nor touched you since Wednesday morning,” Hyunjin told him while his other leg circled his waist. He had long limbs, and Changbin was shorter than him, so they fit perfectly around him. “And even our hug on that day wasn’t enough.”

“Did you miss me?”

“Didn’t you miss me?” Hyunjin gave him an offended look.

“Of course, I missed you,” Changbin replied before kneeling on the edge of the bed to crawl above his now pleased lover.

He leaned down at the same time as Hyunjin’s arms wrapped around his neck and pecked his lips.

The younger boy tasted and smelled fantastic, even if it were simply the chocolate milk he had drunk earlier and the fragrance of his soap; so Changbin carefully laid on top of him and buried his nose in the crook of his neck to take a breath.

It felt good to finally hold him, in the safety of the bedroom.

“Are you tired?” Hyunjin curiously enquired upon feeling him relaxed in his arms.

“No.” Changbin lifted his face and supported himself on his left elbow. “Aren’t you, though? You danced all day, and your show was so intense…”

“Dancing stimulates me more than it tires me. I’m still feeling the adrenaline, to be honest.” Hyunjin was running his fingers through his thick, dark blue hair by now. “But if you’re not in the mood…”

Changbin snorted.

“Does it feel like I’m not in the mood?” He gave a slight hip thrust for emphasis, his constantly twitching dick trapped between their warm bodies. All he needed was Hyunjin to look at him with half-lidded, wet eyes, and their bodies pressed together to ignite his arousal.

“Maybe mentally, you’re not?” Hyunjin suggested with a pout.

“Mentally I’m always in the mood too because I only have you in my mind,” Changbin shamelessly flirted. His characteristic smirk was pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“What is happening in your mind, then?”

“Well, there’s a certain fairy twirling in the snow…” he started, lowering his face to nuzzle his lover’s neck. “He has long legs and a cute butt. He looks so small but so strong at the same time.” Between each word, he trailed kisses along the side of his throat. “And he is the most beautiful and hardworking person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Is that what you think about my solo part?” Hyunjin had soft, sparkly eyes, and his cheeks were flushing from the shyness he was suddenly experiencing.

He wasn’t too keen on prompting validation, but he liked hearing praises from the one who mattered the most— his parents aside, even if it made him shy. Support was part of love, after all.

“Yes. I think you’re one-of-a-kind. There hasn’t been one like you since you,” his lover sincerely told him. 

Changbin wasn’t a sentimental person, he had a shell, he looked tough like he was made of unbreakable rock, but at that very moment, under the younger boy’s vulnerable gaze, it was the right thing to express.

“I love you so much,” Hyunjin simply said in a hushed tone. He hid his face in Changbin’s chest as much as he could, given their position, and hugged him tightly. “I’m so in love with you.”

The older boy’s face twisted in both surprise and fondness. Surprise, because they weren’t used to voicing their feelings, feelings they always showed through expressions and gestures; fondness because Hyunjin had let his heart speak for him.

“I love you too,” Changbin whispered, which led to his lover letting go of his hug to look up at him with a happy smile on his face. “I’d do everything for you.”

“In that case…” The younger boy trailed, his hands straying along Changbin’s back to curl his fingers around the hem of his t-shirt. “Would you undress now?”

Changbin let him pull off his top and sat on his heels. 

Hyunjin’s dark, lust-filled eyes roaming over his body fueled his ego. He had muscular arms decorated with thin, white scars here and there; a thick chest below which stood his abs that were hidden behind a bit of fat; strong thighs with knees able to break anything; a sturdy body that Hyunjin loved to touch, to feel, to hug, to nestle against because it was warm and comforting.

“I want this gone as well,” Hyunjin added while rubbing his foot against the fabric covering his left thigh. “Now.”

Changbin instantly complied, he stripped himself off of his shorts and knelt back between the younger boy’s parted legs.

Again, a foot snaked from his thigh to his chest where it stopped against his nipple. Changbin took his thin ankle in one hand, his other held Hyunjin’s knee.

“I think you are too covered as well,” Changbin said as Hyunjin tilted his head to the side and looked at him through half-lidded, mischievous eyes.

“Is that so?”

“I got a taste at the theatre, now I need to take a closer look.”

“Suit yourself.”

As a result, Changbin ran his hands over Hyunjin’s legs, feeling the curve of his muscles, to hook his thumbs around the elastic of his shorts. With Hyunjin lifting his butt to make it easier, he pulled off the shorts and tossed them aside.

Then, he slipped his hands beneath Hyunjin’s white t-shirt, caressing his waist and belly in the process of taking his t-shirt off as well; the t-shirt that he haphazardly tossed across the bedroom, because his eyes were now attached to the dancer’s half-naked body.

“You know, I’ve noticed something recently.” Hyunjin broke the silence with a sweet voice.

“What is it?”

“Your pupils,” he answered, sitting up to lace his arms around his neck. A pleased smile adorned his lovely face. “They dilate whenever you look at me.”

Changbin was staring at him, at his eyes, then at his mouth, and at his eyes again.

He blinked, then squinted to find the pupils in these two pitch black orbs. He couldn’t, they were too dark, with a deep gaze that thankfully said a lot about his emotions. Right now, he read desire.

“Your eyes get all dark and watery when you look at me,” Changbin pointed out. One of his hands moved away from their spot on his bony hips to cup his face, resulting in Hyunjin instinctively closing his eyes and parting his lips.

Hyunjin melted in his arms the very moment their lips reunited.

Their kiss, gentle at first, escalated into something sloppier, with tongues that kept licking one another. 

Changbin felt Hyunjin’s legs tightly wrap around his waist, making their crotches deliciously press together. He pushed up, his arms holding Hyunjin against his chest, only to earn a moan that broke the kiss, the comfortable silence, and the haze Changbin was falling into.

Then, Hyunjin stared at him with round, panicked eyes.

“Do you think they heard me?”

“I don’t think so? I still hear the television.”

“What time is it? They’re probably going to bed soon…”

Hyunjin crawled out of the bed and opened his laptop on the tidy desk to log in Changbin’s Netflix account and play a random TV show. He raised the volume higher than he usually would, then climbed back on the bed.

Changbin immediately took him in his arms and laid him down to kiss him.

With the TV show playing in the background, they wouldn’t be worried about making sounds they weren’t able to keep in.

It was their second time engaging in sexual intercourse while their parents were home. And even if their parents told them they preferred knowing their children had sex under their roof instead of somewhere dangerous, it was still strange because they were aware of their presence.

That being said, as soon as they lost themselves in each other, everything outside of their bubble of passion faded away.

Changbin was ravishing Hyunjin’s puffy mouth and keeping him pinned down beneath his heavier, stronger body. He liked being in control, although he knew Hyunjin was the one actually leading him by the nose, and Changbin, too enamored, had no other choice than to comply. 

He left his lover’s mouth to nuzzle his neck, take in his scent, and trail kisses over the length of his throat. He stopped at the hollow between his collarbones, sticking out his tongue to slowly lick him in the direction of his chin, his mouth, where he licked his lips before kissing him again. His skin tasted like sugary oil; it was a familiar taste that he would never get bored of.

Hyunjin was mewling, relaxed, and pliant in his arms.

“More,” he murmured against his lips. He was squirming beneath him to create more friction between their warm bodies. “I need more.”

So, Changbin left his face to run his nose along his neck again. He was breathing his scent as he was moving lower, kissing a nipple, a bone from his ribcage, his belly button where he left a second peck, then another, and another, soft pecks scattered all over his flat, hairless belly.

He was listening to Hyunjin’s heavy breathing, was feeling the muscles of his lithe body twitching in anticipation, and was grabbing his thighs taut around him to spread them further apart.

Hyunjin almost imperceptibly gasped at the touch. He was at his lover’s mercy, with his arms around his head and with mist-filled eyes.

Changbin left his belly to sit back on his heels. He roamed his hands over his thighs towards his waist, pinched him to make him giggle, and hooked his thumbs around the waistband of his underwear.

When he pulled them down, Hyunjin’s dark-pink dick sprung free, stiff and curled against his belly.

He was so beautiful, Changbin thought. His oiled skin was glowing under the orange light. Changbin observed each curve of his lean muscles, each slope, each bone, the bump of his belly whenever he was inhaling, the sweat on his neck and temples. A sight that always titillated his deepest desire; one which triggered his possessiveness, which had him sink his teeth in his lover’s neck to claim him.

He was lost in his contemplation.

And Hyunjin let out a soft chuckle that sliced the silence like a paper plane.

“What?”

“You’ve been staring for a while now. I’m starting to get cold,” Hyunjin told him with a pout.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s fine, I was staring too.” His pout twisted into a sly grin. “You’re so hot when you’re daydreaming about me.”

“I wasn’t daydreaming about you,” Changbin sulkily retorted, not liking being so obvious in the eyes of his lover.

“Right… What’s that for, then?” Hyunjin’s foot swiftly pressed against his crotch, resulting in jolts of pleasure spreading across the older boy’s limbs.

Changbin held his ankle in one hand and placed it on the bed next to him.

“It’s for you, but you’re not ready yet.”

“I want to be ready. I want you inside me now!”

“I want to be inside you too…” Changbin whispered as his eyes cast downward, where he looked at the cleft of Hyunjin’s butt.

His hands gripped each of his thighs and bent them over until his pink, hairless hole revealed itself.

When he leaned down, Hyunjin gasped, feeling his lover's breath ghosting over his entrance.

Hyunjin’s fingers clutched at the sheets while he threw his head back, already shuddering at what was about to come. He felt Changbin’s tongue circle his rim, felt it teasingly lick him until it went inside.

“Why does it feel so good,” he mewled, eyes fluttering shut because of the pleasure invading his body like waves washing over the shore.

With Changbin’s strong grip around his thighs, with his tongue dexterously lapping at his hole, with his strands of hair tickling his belly, nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered.

It was so warm, it smelled like both of their scents, and it didn’t sound like anything, only his own breathing whistling in his ears, and sometimes his heartbeats, when his breath got caught in his throat in a silent moan.

Soon, two fingers joined the tongue, and he thought he could just come like this.

“‘Bin…” He murmured, one of his hands leaving the sheets to fist Changbin’s hair. “More, more, more.”

“More?”

“More of you.”

Changbin’s mouth twisted into a cocky grin as he pulled away, with Hyunjin’s hand falling on his own belly. He also pulled the drawer of the bedside table open to take out the lube; lube he coated his fingers with, to prepare Hyunjin for what was about to come.

“I’m going to finger you now,” he told the younger boy who nodded eagerly.

So, he worked Hyunjin open with two dexterous fingers.

The whole process, he observed Hyunjin’s face contorting in pleasure; the puffs of warm air leaving his mouth; the twitch of his eyebrows; his eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks; and his delicate fingers clutching the sheets.

Strands of his long blonde hair were damp, stuck to each of his temples, and he was squirming, panting, telling Changbin that it was enough, that he wanted him now.

An exquisite creature right here, at Changbin’s mercy.

Hyunjin watched him lube his dick with impatient, hungry eyes.

His legs instinctively laced around his lover’s waist when he lined himself against his entrance.

“I’m going in now,” Changbin informed him while slowly pushing in the warmth of his body.

He observed Hyunjin’s face again, to get all the clues: the discomfort, the pain, the sigh of relief, likely from the feeling of finally being filled.

Changbin stilled midway, giving his lover time to adjust, but it wasn’t counting on the latter’s impatience.

Instead of giving in to his demand however, Changbin leaned down to gently cup his cheek and kiss him, and as expected, the younger boy melted against him, content to be kissed.

(Kissing Hyunjin diverted him from the violent desire that was almost swamping him until he couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think anything, save for his attraction for Hyunjin he had to consume.)

“You can move. Please, move,” the younger boy softly said against his lips, before kissing him again.

His arms were tight around his lover’s neck like he was afraid to let go.

Upon hearing his request, Changbin supported himself on one forearm and began thrusting in and out at a slow pace. He placed the other arm along the dip of his backbone, with his hand cupping the back of his head, fingers twined around his strands of hair.

But soon enough, driven by desire, by the delectable sensation of his dick trapped in Hyunjin’s warmth, he snapped his hips faster. 

The younger boy was whimpering beneath him, warm and pliant and taking everything Changbin was giving him. The strength of his hips, the bites on his neck, the grunts in his right ear.

It was too warm, like burning wires were pulling at the low of his belly with a devastating strength. He was inebriated from Hyunjin’s smell, from the smoothness of his damp skin, from his moans that were like spells against the shell of his ear.

He could go on like this all night, he could fuck Hyunjin forever. His appetite for passion, for how he wanted to show Hyunjin how much he loved and desired him was like a wide-open chasm. No end, just depths.

He felt Hyunjin’s nails claw at his back.

He felt his legs twitch around him.

He felt his mouth kissing his shoulder and his neck between moans.

He felt his passion too.

“You’re made for me,” Changbin grunted while he rubbed his forehead against the younger boy’s shoulder. “You’re mine only.” He licked his skin until he reached his nipple that he kissed.

Hyunjin let out a whimper at the touch, pleasure seizing him all over his body. He could only feel, unable to open his eyes; he wouldn’t be able to see anything, only mist, and darkness.

He felt Changbin’s heartbeats thrumming in his chest like hammers were tearing into the ground. He could hear them as well, he could hear his thick voice, he could hear himself, his own moans that aroused him even more.

Yes, he was made for Changbin, the same way Changbin was made for him; a cool, hot-headed boy who could challenge Hyunjin’s caprices; handsome, strong, yet reckless, unafraid to throw fists; his clear opposite, tan and short, and brazen and fun, sociable and thick-skinned.

Nevertheless, they shared the same explosive passion for each other.

The way Changbin loved him was everything he ever longed for. Like the older boy was bewitched, doing everything to make him happy and fucking him with the right amount of roughness.

Compelled by his feelings, Hyunjin nuzzled his jawline, parted his lips to mouth at his cheek, rolled his hips in order to drive him crazier.

Changbin gasped, his thrusts messier, then turned his head to meet his awaiting lips.

Hyunjin moved like the ocean, intense, sensual, dreamy, he was his potion, his fix. 

It didn’t take long before he came inside his lover with a desperate moan, as the last wave of pleasure was also the strongest, the one that built up to his release.

His hips kept chasing the last drop, though, with his belly rubbing against Hyunjin’s dick trapped between them. The latter was squirming, panting, too sensitive; his eyes rolled back, his mouth fell open in a silent moan and his nails dug in the muscles of Changbin’s back, until he spilled on their chests.

Slowly, as they were regaining their breath, Hyunjin’s legs unlaced from around Changbin’s waist and dropped on the sheets. His arms, now deprived of strength, remained around him into a hug. Despite his short breath, he affectionately trailed kisses all over the older boy’s shoulder.

“You’re still inside,” Hyunjin softly reminded him.

“Right…” Changbin contracted his muscles again to lift himself and sit on his heels. His dick sprung free from the younger boy’s warm and tight hole, limp between his legs.

He watched Hyunjin stretch out his long limbs like a cat, and his hands instinctively curled around his thighs.

Hyunjin locked back at him, with amusement swimming in his black pools of eyes.

“Would you get me a wet wipe? In my drawer?”

He tilted his head to the side, seeing as Changbin wasn’t responding, likely still in his haze, and called him by his name.

Changbin blinked the haze away and leaned over Hyunjin’s to open the drawer and pull out a box of wet wipes.

They quickly cleaned themselves, pulled on their pajamas, and closed the laptop.

There wasn’t a better place in the world than laying in bed with their limbs tangled together, and the silence around only reinforced their bubble.

Hyunjin was running his fingers through his tousled hair, his eyes fond and his smile lovely. His tender touch was so relaxing, it gave Changbin a feeling of safety. In moments like these, he felt like he didn’t have to be the reliable, protective one anymore.

“How are you feeling?” Hyunjin curiously asked, his nose brushing against his. “Did you like it?”

“Like, I wasn’t obvious enough?”

“I need to hear it.” He pouted.

“Of course, I liked it. It was even beyond wonderful,” Changbin enunciated in a voice full of honesty. “I learned at school that happiness started with an H. They were right.”

Hyunjin chuckled, and Changbin’s face scrunched in discomfort because he received saliva on his face.

“Sorry, but that was a funny one,” the younger boy told him before wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Then, he gently cupped his cheek, looking at him with sparkly, vulnerable eyes. “You really think of me as your happiness?”

“Yes. Besides, I’m obsessed with you,” Changbin said matter-of-factly— a satisfied grin bloomed on his lover's face. He wasn’t ashamed of himself for that, everyone was aware that he lived his best life whenever Hyunjin was around. They knew he had Hyunjin under his skin; and it had been the case since the day they had become friends. “Sex with you is always my favorite thing in the world.”

“Aw.” Hyunjin began caressing the thin, white scar above his eyebrow. “But I didn’t do anything today, though? You just pinned me down, and I couldn’t even roll us over like I always do before riding you.”

“Riding me…” Changbin thought about him bouncing on his dick, which led to his dick filling up with interest again. “I should have let you ride me.”

“So, something was really missing? It wasn’t good enough?” 

“No, no. That’s not what I meant. I was just losing myself… In you. I like you in every position.” He pecked away the pout knotting his plump lips together. “I like everything I do with you.”

“I like everything I do with you too,” Hyunjin sleepily told him as he happily nestled himself against his broad chest.

Changbin tucked a strand of hair behind his ear before carefully touching it.

“Aren’t you going to take off your hearing aid?” He asked, knowing the younger boy always slept without it.

Hyunjin hummed, looking up at him with sleepy eyes.

“I already took it off when you went to take a shower.” And then, when a tint of mischief, he said: “I learned at school that candies started with a C. They were right, and you’re my favorite one.”

“I’m a candy, now?” Changbin snorted. He knew Hyunjin had been working the gears in his brain to find a suitable word to describe him. Comfort, confidence, courage maybe, but the younger boy decided to pick candy, because it was a funnier word and also because it was his favorite snack in the world.

“You know I can’t live without candies!” The younger boy protested while rubbing his face against the crook of his neck. Then he stilled, nose in the hollow between his lover’s collarbones, and left a soft kiss on his warm skin. “My life wouldn’t be the same without my favorite one.”

It warmed Changbin’s heart.

  
  
  


─────────

  
  
  


Lately, the trees were burgeoning with pretty flowers whose scents traveled with the wind. Changbin thought the cherry blossoms looked like Hyunjin’s mouth. He tiptoed to pick one from the lowest branch to smell it

It even smelled like Hyunjin, something faint but sweet.

He was on campus, waiting for him at his usual spot near the parking facility for bicycles.

The weather was sunny, but still cold, although it was still slightly warmer than in winter. Shivering, he put his hands in his pockets to keep himself warm. One was balled into a fist to fit in the warmth of the pocket while the other remained stiff against his hip.

He had fallen down the stairs a few days ago— missed a step in his hurry and collided with the students that were going upstairs, resulting in a wrist sprain. He was now wearing orthopedic support and counting on his friends to help him with his notes since he couldn’t type on his keyboard anymore.

(Hyunjin always sent him his notes at the end of their shared English lectures. Changbin was just sitting next to him and listening to the professor with a lazy mind. The younger boy sometimes kicked him— very lightly because Hyunjin remained as harmless as a bird, to get him to focus. Listening was already a third of the learning process, after all.)

While waiting eagerly, he took out his available hand three times to shake hands with familiar acquaintances who recognized the ball of darkness he was below the flowering trees. One of them teasingly bumped his shoulder and asked him in fake surprise if he was waiting for the handsome bicycle boy.

Naturally, Hyunjin’s trips between his faculty and Changbin’s had not gone unnoticed. The younger boy was absolutely beautiful; he dressed well and walked like a model. It was only inevitable for them to be drawn to him, even if they were simply looking. He was too lovely on his pale blue city bicycle.

“Yeah, he is picking me up,” Changbin casually replied as his cocky grin revealed his white teeth.

“Oh. Good for you, man,” the other told him with a similar grin.

A tacit understanding passed between them, since it was a tradition for some boys to congratulate each other whenever they scored pretty people. Changbin didn’t think much of this behavior, he sure would punch anyone in the face if they ever spoke about Hyunjin like he was a prey, but in this case right here, he was proud to be the one Hyunjin had fallen in love with.

Speaking of which, the younger boy signaled his arrival by ringing the bell hitched to his handlebars.

Changbin’s acquaintance quickly left while his lover stopped in front of him.

“Sorry to be late,” Hyunjin apologized. “There was a crowd at one of the bus stops so I had to ride slowly.”

“It’s fine.” Changbin leaned up at the same time as Hyunjin’s hand cupped his cheek, and their mouths reunited into a chaste kiss. “You smell like blossoms.” He tucked the blossom flower he had picked earlier behind his lover’s little ear.

“Aw, thank you. And you smell like the spicy ramen Jisung always eats,” the younger boy playfully said. With his bicycle between his legs, he wrapped his arms around his lover’s shoulders to kiss him deeper. “Thank you for the flower,” he mouthed with smiley eyes.

Changbin held his waist with both of his hands, even if one of them hurt, and kissed him again.

“We were eating ramen before I came here,” he told Hyunjin after they parted.

“At 3 pm?”

“You know how hungry Chan always is, and seeing him eat makes us hungry too,” Changbin began explaining with confidence. “Besides, it’s easier to work on music with a full stomach.”

Hyunjin hummed and tenderly pecked his mouth again.

“It’s fine, you’re going to digest during the ride.” He let go of his embrace to sit on the saddle. “Will it be okay to hold me with your sprain?” He looked at Changbin with pretty, worried eyes.

“Yeah,” Changbin reassured him as he flung his leg over the pannier rack and circled his lover’s waist. A sprain was nothing to him. He still had the use of his muscles and balance, he could ride a bike just fine, especially if he was just sitting behind.

In his position though, he noticed the two braids along the back of Hyunjin’s head— he hadn’t seen them from the front because his usual strands of hair were shaping his little face.

“I like your new hairstyle. It’s pretty,” he complimented him.

“Thank you! My friend Yeji was bored and braided it for me.”

They were hurtling down the slope leading to the center of Seoul by now. Thankfully, the winds weren’t as strong as they were during winter, so they were both enjoying their ride, especially with the sun shining above their heads, and with the delightful landscape made of colorful trees.

“She did a great job.” He tightened his hold around the younger boy because they reached a graveled area. “Hey, where are we going?”

“I’m taking you to the woods again,” Hyunjin replied as he slowed down to be able to face the gravels better.

“Which one?” He curiously asked, because there were many, and a lot of them had been the witnesses to their love.

“A forest with elder trees.”

“Elder trees? I forgot about what they looked like.”

“They are big, brown trees, with creases on their bark and with thin leaves. In spring, they bear clumps of small, white flowers.”

“Oh, I see now.” Changbin remembered them from a trip in the woods they had done during elementary school. The kids used to collect the dark berries they picked from the branches, but were always scolded by their teachers because these berries were poisonous. “But why elder trees?”

“Because elder trees have long been believed to have healing powers,” Hyunjin gently told him.

“Let me guess… This one will heal my sprain?” Changbin teased him, playfully pinching the younger boy’s flat stomach.

“Are you making fun of me?”

He could even hear his pout.

He could picture his sad face: cute rosy mouth, shiny eyes, and cheeks slightly blown.

“Am I going to hug a tree?” Changbin carried on, an impish grin appearing on his face.

But his grin twisted into a grimace when Hyunjin suddenly stopped in the middle of the quay.

“Get off. You’re going to walk.” The younger boy was offended.

Thankfully, they were riding along the river, so there weren’t many people around them.

“I was joking, I’m sorry!” Changbin sincerely said. He squeezed his lover’s waist and kissed the back of his shoulder. “I promise. I’m delighted at the idea of going into the woods.”

“No, you’re not. You think it’s stupid, that I’m weird for liking trees,” Hyunjin let out in a tone full of sorrow. “They all did. I was an athlete, then I couldn’t play soccer anymore and I didn’t want to talk to anyone either. I only had the woods, but you can’t like the woods when you’re a teenager. You’re supposed to love sports, video games, and porn.”

“Hyun—”

“And now you’re mocking me in the same way they did back then,” he finished in a whisper.

Upon hearing his lover, Changbin put his foot on the ground to get a sideways look at his face and curled his available hand over his thigh, his grip warm and strong. 

Hyunjin looked adorable, but he was also genuinely hurt by his antics.

“Baby, I’m sorry. Forgive me.” Changbin apologized as he squeezed his thigh. Then, he lifted his hand to delicately cup his cold cheek and caressed the soft skin with his thumb. “I know how special trees are to you. I know you’d rather be with them than with the traffic or with loud people.”

“Then why would you say that? People have made fun of me because of everything that happened…” 

Hyunjin’s eyes had lost their natural spark.

Changbin felt bad, he had taken it too far for the first time.

So, he got off the bicycle in order to properly face him.

“I shouldn’t have said that… But know that I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You still did. I trusted you when I took you there and told you about my past...”

“I know… Hyunjin, please. I promise it wasn’t my intention. I promise I won’t hurt you again,” Changbin promised as his voice constricted with distress. A life without Hyunjin? The thought had his heart constricting painfully in his chest too.

He had experienced heartbreaks before, yet he was convinced that theirs would be an eternal fresh bruise; the kind that never left and hurt the same throughout a lifetime.

Hyunjin stayed still for interminable seconds in the course of which Changbin was afraid of losing him, but then leaned his face in the hollow of his palm and nodded.

“I know you didn’t want to hurt me,” he softly told him. “I’m sorry for getting upset. Didn’t want to hurt you as well.”

Relief and joy chased away the distress that had been weighing him.

“It’s fine, I can understand,” Changbin replied, appreciating the fact that Hyunjin regretted scaring him to the point he thought they were breaking up. “Can I— Can I kiss you?”

Hyunjin nodded again, his mouth twisting into a lovely smile.

Changbin felt better.

He tiptoed to peck his lips, then his cheek, then his lips again, and finally his nose, which as a result had Hyunjin giggling because _it tickles!_

Changbin smiled, warm and happy to hear his favorite giggles again.

They got back on the road and arrived at the edge of the forest twenty minutes later.

Hyunjin pedaled between the trees until their roots were too thick for the fragile wheels of his city bicycle.

So, they got off and followed the path to a river, with Changbin’s backpack hooked to the handlebars the younger boy was guiding.

It was only when they reached the river bathed in the sunlight, only when Hyunjin kissed him over his bicycle to warm their numb mouths, that Changbin heard for the first time the sound of the ice cracking, stirred by the waves.

Beautiful.

**...you were the only one I heard in the silence.”**

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> In my world, there's only room for ChangJin's happiness.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are **heavily** encouraged. ♡


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